tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63025833940757440682024-03-05T14:02:04.624-08:00Tandem TwinningWe never expected to have twins. Even less, did we expect to have twins again, four years later. We hope sharing our experiences can help others who will inevitably walk down paths much like our own...Nannerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12549332286209169484noreply@blogger.comBlogger52125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6302583394075744068.post-34025538611921946612015-09-06T22:12:00.001-07:002015-09-06T22:12:23.211-07:00Baby #6 Gender Reveal Pinata!<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">So we decided to mix this up a bit. Instead of just letting the ultrasound technician tell us whether we're having a boy or a girl, we brought with a few of our kids to our ultrasound, and asked the technician to write the gender of our baby and place the telltale pic of him or her inside the envelope. We stopped at the store on the way home and picked out 1) pink candies and treats 2) blue candies and treats 3) a pinata.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">We gave the envelope to my mom and the kids and let them have fun stuffing and decorating the pinata with the appropriate color surprises, and later that night video taped us all whapping it to find out if we are having a boy or a girl! </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwJe_5tyXFSxMSugl7zPniWvPVmPp7GXFoYRCUv-TUxdVJflna5EL6LZLub03Gn3dsqr7cOsZWIAJxsHkThvBkE8dlnY_K-jG8aLwUHAs5iy3JuUR2CokbnNWa2ik0Io6vW2DwTZ9qvcA/s1600/2015-08-12+18.11.29.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwJe_5tyXFSxMSugl7zPniWvPVmPp7GXFoYRCUv-TUxdVJflna5EL6LZLub03Gn3dsqr7cOsZWIAJxsHkThvBkE8dlnY_K-jG8aLwUHAs5iy3JuUR2CokbnNWa2ik0Io6vW2DwTZ9qvcA/s320/2015-08-12+18.11.29.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Dad had the winning hit...a home run!</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIB2LNdS8Brhf5NV1tz21voTBkSgmmchr_iWq0ZcHA0FgNUu51KGDCvvCcwc7h3Hk7zmBu9DtPwIgrWUR-Gj6MJOhYqztZauxLZvpHgjSQ1c6rAVnEyz6vUejIZKt7taPPCAhzaqTxkgY/s1600/IMG_20150812_185914870.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIB2LNdS8Brhf5NV1tz21voTBkSgmmchr_iWq0ZcHA0FgNUu51KGDCvvCcwc7h3Hk7zmBu9DtPwIgrWUR-Gj6MJOhYqztZauxLZvpHgjSQ1c6rAVnEyz6vUejIZKt7taPPCAhzaqTxkgY/s320/IMG_20150812_185914870.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">It's a boy! Yup...we're definitely mixing it up here.</span><br />
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<br />Nannerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12549332286209169484noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6302583394075744068.post-44288242923940591092015-08-15T06:46:00.000-07:002015-08-15T06:46:21.309-07:00Back in the Saddle Again...<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Back again...back to what you ask? Well, it does have a double meaning! Obviously, I'm actually posting again for the first time in forever (Oh why must I always do that and get a song stuck in my head!?). But, also, and more significantly, I'm back to having a baby again! Yup...should we really be surprised? Well, I for one was! We'll soon be sporting a half dozen little ones around in our Suburban. And yes, again, I'm just having one this time! My blog title will not be changing to triple twinning... (and I'm very relieved about that!)</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">So, that's the big announcement. Congrats and warm wishes and lots of prayers are welcomed! But can I use my own blog to vent a bit?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Announcing your sixth child (even if it's only your fourth pregnancy!) in our society is a bit like getting re-married for the 5th or 6th time,. At least in my surroundings. Here are some of the warm wishes my husband or I have received in response to sharing the news so far:</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"Are you sure you know what you are doing?"</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"Oh no...please tell me it's just one!"</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"You know, you really need to get fixed."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"Are you guys crazy?" </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"Ya, I still need to get the snip snip done too"</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Ok, I have to admit there were a few positive responses from few friends that actually involved smiles instead of a full view of their tonsils, and even happy words, thank God! But many of the responses you see above came from the people closest to us. This is really depressing. It has been so hard to announce what should be happy news, because most of what we receive is either jeering or criticism or lamenting. Are we supposed to feel ashamed we are bringing another human into this world? Have we somehow made everyone else's life worse? Why is it that that those in our life who are supposed to be the most supportive and helpful can only criticize or shame us?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> Were my husband and I totally planning for, prepared for, and anticipating this? No. Did we know and accept that it was a slight possibility based on our birth control choices and history of fertility? Yes. Does that make our lives a complete mess and failure. No! We are actually excited by this surprise, and feel that if the Good God above determined this is the best, most fruitful path for our lives, so be it. We are His. Does that mean there won't be devastating challenges and sleepless nights? Ha! We already know there will be. But welcome to life, where nothing worth doing is ever easy! Does that mean we don't need the love and support of our family and friends...of course we still do! So, family, friends, if you are reading this, please know that we love you and appreciate you, now more than ever! Please be with us and support, help and encourage us.We really don't need shame and criticism at this point in life.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">And to you innocent bystanders out there reading this, if someone tells you that they're having their 5th, 6th or 20th child, I think you should say "Congratulations!" with a big smile on your face. If you really want to love on them, ask them, "How are you feeling about that?" and then talk through <i>their </i>feelings with them... instead of just giving them a piece of your own. And if you have a 5th, 6th or 20th child, then go right ahead and share your own heart and wisdom with them.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Ok, thanks for listening. I'll try to blog more while I'm on my pregnancy journey. Right now, Baby is due right at Christmas. Should be fun :)</span></span></div>
Nannerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12549332286209169484noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6302583394075744068.post-22793039438176475252013-09-03T21:08:00.000-07:002013-09-03T21:14:35.421-07:00Herstory II<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">The following was published in the Minnesota Valley Mothers of Multiples August and September newsletter as a continuation of the first "Herstory" I wrote about 5 years ago.</span></span></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Herstory II</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">About 5 years ago, I wrote a ‘Herstory’ for the MVMOM
newsletter about life as a mom to identical twin girls. I’ve since re-posted
that on my blog if you would like to read it in fu<span style="background-color: white;">ll <a href="http://www.tandemtwinning.com/2010/03/so-lets-start-at-beginning.html" target="_blank"><span style="background-attachment: scroll; background-clip: border-box; background-image: none; background-origin: padding-box; background-position: 0% 0%; background-repeat: repeat; background-size: auto auto;">here</span></a>.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Only a few months after writing that, I became pregnant
again. We figured that if we could survive twin girls with personalities and
quirks as intense as theirs, we could survive just one of any kind of child for
another go-around – and maybe even have a chance to enjoy it! We went for an
early ultrasound, at the strong suggestion of our doctor. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">We suspected nothing. I had said a prayer that the baby was
healthy as we went in. I lay at on the examining table intently watching the TV
screen. Mike, my dear hubby, sat faithfully by my side, thumbing through a
magazine. The friendly tech doused me in the familiar warm goo and proceeded
immediately. She was silent for a moment as she examined the screen, when I
broke the silence, “Honey…does that look familiar to you?” I asked. He looked
cluelessly up from his reading trying to get his bearing, and completely unaware
what he was about to realize. “I see two big black jelly beans on that screen”
I told him. The ultrasound tech jumped in to confirm my suspicions, “Two sacs,
two heartbeats.” Just four words, cradling more meaning than we could wrap our
heads around in that moment. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Even if you’ve had twins already before, or triplets, or
quintuplets, or a single child – or 4 of them, you still don’t know what, or
really, who, is coming and just what this will mean for the rest of your life.
Let’s just say, we went ‘all in’ and were honored that God would let us have a
chance to do this all again - and prayed for His compassion on our health and
sanity and to give us the ability not only to survive, but maybe even to
remember some of it this time! Though we certainly were a little nervous how
that prayer would be answered. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">All experienced parents like to claim that subsequent
children are easier (after your firstborn(s)), simply because you are more
experienced, more at ease and confident. While our little Nora and Stella (# 3
& #4) - were ‘easier’, I certainly don’t believe it had anything to
do with my experience or change in attitude (ok, perhaps, but only a smidge!)
In fact, we could tell in the hospital minutes after [a relatively easy and
uneventful, yet induced birth at 38 weeks] how at ease they were with the
world, happily nursing and sleeping. A ‘far cry’ from our experience the first
time! But both times we felt so lucky, and blessed simply in that all our
children, babies and mom, were healthy and well, not to mention that I had
avoided my fear of having surgery. (All my birth stories are on my blog if you
wish to read them, at <a href="http://www.tandemtwinning.com/">www.tandemtwinning.com</a>)
But the real blessing was getting to do it all over again.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">And get a do-over we did! Many things were different.
Schedule, who needs that? We have nowhere to go! Instead of crying and fighting
them to sleep in their cribs, I threw up the white flag and just brought them
to bed with us. I was better rested, and better able to enjoy and remember
mom-hood. Nora and Stella were learning some words before they were a year old
and even would follow simple instructions I gave them. By the time they were 2,
they were better at cleaning up and throwing away trash than their big sisters!
They wore shoes for the first time without crying or refusing to walk and they
would sit in a stroller or shopping cart happily for the entire trip.
Things were oh<span style="color: #1f497d;">-</span>so very different…things were
what a person would expect things to be like when you have two babies. We
realized then, that the previous four years of life with our older children
were certainly not ‘normal’.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">When our first set of twins were babies and young kids,
well-meaning people, family and friends and teachers told us ‘babies are just
fussy’ and ‘it’s just a phase’ and ‘oh, the terrible 2’s!’ Others occasionally
looked down their noses at us for not being able to control our 3, 4, and 5
year olds’ tantrums, or for not being able to get them to help during clean up
time, or for their frustrated whining when they had to put on winter coats and
boots. I changed diapers in public to avoid the loud hand dryers in the
restroom. I was always 30 minutes late because that’s how long it took to
buckle in that day, or get the sock seams just right. And I even left them in
the car while getting milk at the gas station because I dreaded having to
buckle back up again if I had brought her in! But the commentators who judged
those deeds and attitudes were wrong. Our older girls were not in a phase, or ‘just
picky’. They certainly were spirited, but it was more than that alone. They
needed special help, attention and lots of patience and love and encouragement
–and not a stronger hand that some suggested we were lacking.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="uficommentbody">Having <i>another </i>set of
twins at this point<span style="color: #1f497d;">, </span>though that may sound a
curse, it was a true blessing from above<span style="color: #1f497d;">. I</span>
rais<span style="color: #1f497d;">ed</span> them much the same way as their
older sisters, and in doing so, I realized that they were made of different
dust.<span style="color: #1f497d;"> L</span>ike their sisters, their similar
temperaments might be related to their similar genetics or their early
environment. Not that they weren’t unique in and of themselves with their own
personalities and preference, they certainly were – but they were fiercely more
similar to their own twin than to their other siblings.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="uficommentbody">Members of MVMOM have approached
me and tell me that they weren’t going to try for a #3 because they were afraid
that they would end up like me, and have twins, again. But my claim is that
stress, tears and sleepless nights do not correlate to number of children
alone. Yes, it is true you have twice as many diapers and feeds to tend
to. And </span>two to keep an eye on and be sure they don’t tumble down the
steps at grandma’s house. Two you have to carry if you are going to see the
dolphin show, because strollers aren’t allowed. Two to buckle in and out of the
stroller or cart while the other freezes in our -20 Minnesota winters. And it’s
very difficult to take them swimming by yourself. But<span class="uficommentbody"> each child bares within her a soul, a soul that has no
prototype and a body in which physical or mental handicap may not be readily
discernable from personality. Certainly every time you bring a child into this
world, you are submitting yourself to a higher power. Some parents are called
upon to dedicate their lives to loving very fragile and needy little people
through this life.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="uficommentbody">It was now that I understood why
other mothers and teachers had made subtle, but accusing comments. Why some of
my ‘friends’ gossiped about how ill-behaved my family was, and how ‘in over our
heads’ we were or even tried their own hand at disciplining my kids. But they
didn’t understand. They had but one, maybe two children years apart who could
talk at age 2, who would respond to incentive and disincentive and who lived
for their parents’ praise. They didn’t understand. They believed that if you
train a child ‘the right way’, that child will turn out right. They
didn’t understand what it is like to buckle Helen in. They didn’t understand
what amazing effort it took to get Ingrid to sit in one place for an entire
meal. Yes, it is still my job to teach those things, but it is not as simple as
it was for them with their own children. They didn’t understand that the way
which is right for their children, is not the way that is right for mine.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="uficommentbody"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Today, my
‘firstborns’ are 8. Helen will still </span></span><span style="font-size: 11pt;">only sit in the rear driver side because she can’t handle the seat belt
going the other way over her shoulder, but she buckles herself – and one of her
little sisters. Ingrid still can’t sit through a whole meal most days, but she
eats enough to get by. <span class="uficommentbody">We homeschool now too,
because some things that are challenging for them are simply easier and better
accomplished taking the trouble to teach them at home, than to struggle with at
school. They do spelling tests…while swinging. They love to read bedtime
stories to and playing pretend with their 4 year old sisters - and teaching them
addition. They love to pick beans and berries from the garden and build with
legos. They even help with the dishes and laundry every day. We can even take a
ride in a car to a restaurant and have a decent meal without too much hoopla. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span class="uficommentbody">Did I mention that we have another baby (yes, just one!), Michelle, who turned
one this month?! And for those things, I am so thankful. And I am thankful that
I am free from guilt for my kids’ challenges. But neither can I take pride or
credit in how great my kids behave or how they ‘turn out’. Rather, there
is a way that is right for each child, and I am merely beating the bushes away,
trying to find that path. For some children, the path is well worn, and obvious
and easy to navigate. For others, you forge the path yourself because it has
never before been done quite like this. You swing the machete through a thick
forest, and often end up back-tracking to try a different route. But find the
path for your child. Heck, make it if you have to and don’t feel
insufficient because you have to work harder than others you see skipping down
the wide path across the stream. Just know that you have been chosen for a special
child who needs the patience, the wisdom, and the love that only you can
provide.</span></span></span>Nannerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12549332286209169484noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6302583394075744068.post-41679424886531704602013-07-12T09:39:00.000-07:002013-07-12T09:51:39.270-07:00In Response to my Dear Friend's "ADD" post...OK, so admittedly my dear friend posted his most recent with this disclaimer, "<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">I
post things that are offensive not to offend but to make you think about
what and why is it offensive...This is me warning you..."</span><br />
<br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">He then posted a photo of his kid being unruly in church with the caption "ADD: Awaiting Dad's Discipline - Dear single mothers it is a parenting issue not a mental issue." </span><br />
<br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">Full post is <a href="http://micahbirkholz.tumblr.com/post/55186411188/attention-deficit-disorder-or-is-it-awaiting-dads" target="_blank">here</a>.</span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><br /></span>
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">Dearest Micah,</span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><br /></span>
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">Be glad that I've known you for so long and that I can see your instigating yet open-hearted spirit behind this bold statement. And while I do also get frustrated with our society's propensity to slap a label on every sluggard habit and handicapping sin and call it some kind of disease or disorder that needs some sort of pharmaceutical to heal it - But, I must say that I heartily disagree with the premise of your photo-statement, that such disorders as ADD and the like are merely the results of a lack of fatherly - or any quality per se - of discipline or training. </span><br />
<br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"> </span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".r[5y0ra].[1][4][1]{comment10151599614957795_26789432}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2]"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".r[5y0ra].[1][4][1]{comment10151599614957795_26789432}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2].[0]"><span data-reactid=".r[5y0ra].[1][4][1]{comment10151599614957795_26789432}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2].[0].[0]"><span data-reactid=".r[5y0ra].[1][4][1]{comment10151599614957795_26789432}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2].[0].[0].[0]"></span></span><span data-reactid=".r[5y0ra].[1][4][1]{comment10151599614957795_26789432}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2].[0].[3]"><span data-reactid=".r[5y0ra].[1][4][1]{comment10151599614957795_26789432}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2].[0].[3].[0]"><span data-reactid=".r[5y0ra].[1][4][1]{comment10151599614957795_26789432}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2].[0].[3].[0].[0]">I have been uniquely blessed to have at least one child with pretty severe case of this disorder. I have been even more blessed that she has an identical twins sister wihtout the same bondage. They are similar in intensity, spirit, tenacity...you name it. But one child carries a suitcase of ADD, SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) anxiety disorders and potentially also ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) - though this last diagnoses has been disputed among providers. Oh, and her twin has only SPD. The road has been a challenge with both of them, even though they are only 8 now, but for the one with the more 'labels' it has been much more a challenge.</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".r[5y0ra].[1][4][1]{comment10151599614957795_26789432}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2]"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".r[5y0ra].[1][4][1]{comment10151599614957795_26789432}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2].[0]"><span data-reactid=".r[5y0ra].[1][4][1]{comment10151599614957795_26789432}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2].[0].[3]"><span data-reactid=".r[5y0ra].[1][4][1]{comment10151599614957795_26789432}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2].[0].[3].[0]"><span data-reactid=".r[5y0ra].[1][4][1]{comment10151599614957795_26789432}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2].[0].[3].[0].[0]">Before I knew of these diagnoses, I also carried around a suitcase of guilt for 4-5 years that I and
my DH must be bad parents, and not have wise enough or firm enough discipline. I had genetically identical 5 year olds that
were struggling with tantrums, and fighting and bad moods and
all kids of problems - many related to SPD (before I knew what SPD was). Then, I had <i>another </i>set of genetically identical
twins - though that may sound a curse, it was a true blessing from
above, because in them, and in raising them in much the same way as their
older sisters, I realized, that they were made of different dust, and like their sisters their similar temperaments must be related to their similar genetics. They learned easily what behavior is good or not and craved my approval and affection enough to not wish to displease me. And they trusted me when I warned them of dangers. They
were very enjoyable, but I knew I could take no pride in it as if it were a result of my wisdom or doing. It was then I understood why other
mothers and teachers would look down their noses at me when
struggling with my oldest set of twins, "spirited" and tenacious. Afterall, if you do the right things of course your children will turn out right, right? Bad kids have only one or two problems: bad or altogether absent parents...right? </span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".r[5y0ra].[1][4][1]{comment10151599614957795_26789432}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2]"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".r[5y0ra].[1][4][1]{comment10151599614957795_26789432}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2].[0]"><span data-reactid=".r[5y0ra].[1][4][1]{comment10151599614957795_26789432}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2].[0].[3]"><span data-reactid=".r[5y0ra].[1][4][1]{comment10151599614957795_26789432}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2].[0].[3].[0]"><span data-reactid=".r[5y0ra].[1][4][1]{comment10151599614957795_26789432}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2].[0].[3].[0].[0]">Then please explain to me why my one daughter seems incapable of learning
proper behavior from poor consequences. Its as if she likes to smash her head on concrete blocks. Over and over. She may cry in pain every time, yet something about it looks so enticing that she does it again, forgetting that it will still hurt the same next time. I did the 'right' things, I gave them choices with consequences for their actions. At one point, I gave her a sticker chart so that when she got just 10 stickers - not even consecutively, we could go to the restaurant of her choice when she earned them all. All she had to do? Answer when I called her name - not obey, not come running, not even verbalize...just simply acknowledge in sound or gesture or any manner that she heard me call her name. That's all. She failed over and over at this. One day, when I called her name and she did not answer, I brought it to her attention that should would not get a sticker again and she began crying and hitting her head and saying "Why am I so bad!?" It was at that point I realized...she wasn't bad. not at all. She was sick. Her heart desired compliance, but her heart somehow wasn't connected to her brain. She did not need discipline, or consequences or encouragement... she needed healing, love and lots of understanding, compassion and most of all, intense help learning to cope with and conquer her condition, potentially for life.</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".r[5y0ra].[1][4][1]{comment10151599614957795_26789432}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2]"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".r[5y0ra].[1][4][1]{comment10151599614957795_26789432}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2].[0]"><span data-reactid=".r[5y0ra].[1][4][1]{comment10151599614957795_26789432}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2].[0].[3]"><span data-reactid=".r[5y0ra].[1][4][1]{comment10151599614957795_26789432}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2].[0].[3].[0]"><span data-reactid=".r[5y0ra].[1][4][1]{comment10151599614957795_26789432}.[0].[right].[0].[left].[0].[0].[0][2].[0].[3].[0].[0]"> Once I realized this, our family was, in a sense, freed. I was freed from the guilt that I somehow was responsible for the
poor and challenging behavior my oldest set of twins. She was freed from intense pressure to perform outside her range of ability, even if other kids younger than her were able to do more. But one important thing we were not free from was the directive to train this child up in the way that is right just for her. She still needs to know right from wrong and </span></span></span></span></span> needs to find ways to overcome her impulsiveness and obey all that the Lord has commanded. We are still on that road, and now realize that it will be a long one for her, and not easy for any of us. It is the road that has so far lead us to homeschooling and doing my best to handle her gracefully, not angrily and sternly. </span><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">I know we have and will make more wrong turns and have to back track at times. </span>But with God's grace, we are building the road with love and wisdom, paving it with grace and walking on it in the light of His Word.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">ok...so let's move on to your musing about "Why it is offensive" as you seek, because, ahem, it is. It is the occasional case that misbehavior is directly linked to a lack of appropriate discipline which a single mother who can't or won't provide it, IMHO. I don't know how often, because lets face it, until kindergarten and until having the experience of also raising 'normal' kids, I myself couldn't discern if it was my poor parenting or her built-in challenges. I don't think the research or resources to determine the answer to that question exist, in part, because we can, and are often pressured to drug our children rather than heal them and train them - we have in a way, eliminated or blurred the control group. I am not belittling all use of medication for mental illness, but the truth is that these disorders are not caused by a lack of pharmaceuticals in a person's body...there is something at the core which is 'out of order' in them, often in the brain. And the brain is highly resilient and plastic. You don't heal a broken arm with pain medication alone, and I believe every person deserves a chance and true healing the best we can attempt it before resorting terminally to lifelong medication as a crutch. That is the road we have chosen and why we have chosen it anyway.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">But back to the single mother...my first question is, why potentially could she not provide the training her child may need? I may not be a single mother, but I can tell you from the time I get up to the time I crash in exhaustion at night, there are several times throughout the day that I have (of my 5 children) more than one kid at a time crying, fighting, throwing a tantrum or secretly doing some other misdeed simultaneously. There is only 1 of me. I can only speak to or comfort and train 1, perhaps 2, children at a time. I see my middle kids now developing 'middle child syndrome', needing more one on one attention than I can possibly give them and I stay home all day and don't even work outside the home! I'm afraid that single mother is not going to have a chance at giving her kids the level of attention she wants to, no matter how wise and well-intentioned she is, especially if she has kids with special needs. She is probably carrying around a suitcase of mommy-guilt. So you want to make her already-heavy heart even heavier? Do you love that rowdy child of hers in the pew? For the love of God...go show her some love! Spend a Saturday with your kids doing a project at her house, babysit her kids while she can go get a haircut or have lunch or dinner with a friend or even spend some one on one time with one of her kids, go fold her laundry...every Tuesday. Don't do it once, do it every month, or every week so she has some ongoing support. And take 'single mom' broadly...divorced, separated, widowed, military, husband travels for work alot. </span><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">How about single guys - do you avoid dating single moms? Maybe you just never thought of it, that God would actually call you to marry someone with "baggage"</span>, but all people have "baggage". Their baggage is just cuter, louder and poops more. Single moms need us all. So let's stop blaming them for all the things they can't possibly do themselves, and lets reach out to them instead.</span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><br /></span>
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"></span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">Some books I really, highly recommend on the subject are Dr. Sears "ADD Book" and "Discipline Book" and "Fussy Baby Book" as well as a book called "Nurtureshock" by Bronson and Merryman.</span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><br /></span>
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">Peace out brother...and I hope no rotten tomatos have given you a bad hair day. :)</span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><br /></span>
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">Nanner</span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><br /></span>
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><br /></span>Nannerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12549332286209169484noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6302583394075744068.post-67565366399975186472013-03-07T01:09:00.000-08:002013-07-12T09:40:30.670-07:00My big long Breastfeeding Post<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So after a long pause in blogging, I'm back. At least for now, inspired by a class I am assisting in teaching tomorrow at <a href="http://www.enlightenedmama.com/" target="_blank">Enlightened Mama</a> on breastfeeding multiples. The following was taken from an email written years ago while I was BFing my second set of twins. It was sent to a new M.O.M. (that's mother of multiples) who was looking for general advice from an experienced, breastfeeding M.O.M. I sent her a long email, including much of what follows. Please read and enjoy for what it is worth. Sorry, it is a little disjointed.</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">First -
realize you will be spending lots of time in a chair feeding babies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you can't accept that, then you will have
a hard time succeeding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Set up a
'nursing nest' somewhere convenient in your house with a comfy chair and a TV
tray next to it with all the essentials.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Mine has magazines, paper and pen for jotting down grocery lists etc.,
lotion, nipple cream, my breast pump (on floor below table) and even my laptop
so I can read what's going on! (even if I can't type).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It makes the time spent nursing seem pretty
short.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's in the living room in a
place where I can also see the kitchen so I can keep tabs on my 4-year olds.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Second,
realize that building supply may take time - it did for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only perhaps 2 weeks with my first babies
(but they were nursing constantly!), but probably
almost a month for my second set before we were totally done with formula.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We used Enfamil Gentleease,
because our first babes had so much trouble with food sensitivities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I did try to use the samples of regular
formula they did seem to make our babies more fussy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Feed.
Supplement. Pump.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You dont' have to
supplement every feed, but you will know when your baby is getting frustrated
at the breast because she may come unlatched, crying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Try pumping for 10 minutes every time you
supplement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But don’t stress yourself
out – you have 2 tinies and perhaps even some older children to care for. even
if it's not right after you supplement with formula, do after a another feeding that day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This comes with a caveat though...I didn't
worry about pumping until my milk came in at 2 or 3 days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You need a break those early days. I refused
the pump at the hospital and the lactation consultant gave me a raised eyebrow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I reminded her that I had done this before
and was sure the milk would come in as long as I gave my newborns plenty of
boob-time (which I did...I would let them go for 45 minutes if they wanted to).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can pump in the hospital if you find it
convenient, it may help your milk come in faster, but if it is stressing you
out, just skip it. Your milk WILL come in if your baby is given time at your
breast, don’t be afraid to wait out the arrival of your milk without a pump!</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I too
breastfed right after birth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tell your
hospital staff that you want to breastfeed as soon as possible after birth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For my first set of twins they were 35
minutes apart and I had Baby A at breast before B was born to help with
contractions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was awkward laying
down, but it worked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With my first(s) they
brought the babies to me to nurse every 3 hours...asleep, awake no matter
what.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a little over the top for
term 7lb babies and totally exhausted me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The second time was a little too far the other way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If the babies were sleeping, the nurses would
say 'You want us to wake them, why?'.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Times change I guess.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just try to
nurse them at least every 2-3 hours, until your milk comes in. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">If no
specific directive from your pediatrician, nurse them every 2-3 hours during the
day plus whenever they 'request' it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm sure they will let you know if
htey are hungry at night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This means
that you may need to wake them up during the day to feed them. Granted, if
they just finally fell asleep after a long fuss and 20 minutes later it's been
3 hours since you last started feeding them (this was always the case with our
first twins!) don't kill yourself waking them right on schedule like I did at
first!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just be reasonable, let them get
some rest and start it all over after they got to sleep for 45 minutes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With our first set we succumbed to the
relatives’ requests of <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>'why wake a
sleeping baby?!?' and entertained visitors all day, and fed babies all night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After a week we learned our lesson:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Feed baby during the day or baby will wake
you all night!</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Get a
prescription nipple cream if you need one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There will be
alot of action on those nipples and I had problems with cracking both
times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> supposedly,</span> you should never have troubles if your baby is latching correctly,
but I just don't know that's totally true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>With hungry full term twins who are let nurse on demand I had trouble with one nipple both times even though the lactation consultants said her latch
was fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and strangely enough, the same
babies didn't bother my left nipple. (or didn't bother it as much).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm convinced it's because my right boob and
nipple are much bigger than my left, and their little mouths just weren't
big enough to nurse in a totally compatible way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So just realize that there no matter how
'properly' you and your babies are, there may be some soreness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>whenever my nipples got really sore, I just
pumped that side for the next 12 hours and it would start healing nicely.
(prescription steroid nipple cream also very helpful here!)</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I agree
tandem nursing saves lots of time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is
very difficult to tandem nurse though in the hospital.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did it a few times with our first set just
ot practice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The second set I only did
it at home with the boppy in my 'nest'.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It is difficult because that babies don’t know how to latch on their own
yet, so if one comes undone, you don't have enough hands to get him
re-latched.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don't stress over
tandem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I recommend trying side laying
nursing in the hospital though - this was a life saver for me!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't htink I could have nursed twins without being able to snooze a little while I nurse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If it makes you nervous, set a radio alarm to
quietly wake you in a few minutes so you don't fall into a totally deep
sleep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I always turned on the lamp as my
subconscious reminder not to fall into a deep sleep and that worked for us.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I am no
lactation consultant, but I highly recommend using bottles for supplements and
even if you don't need to supplement, doing at least a bottle a day with breast milk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My first set of twins
refused all bottles at about 5 weeks because they didn't get one often enough, and boy
was perhaps the most difficult aspect of thier first year of life! My first hospital stay they never offered bottles and we cup
fed. When I had the second set of twins, they (the hospital Lactation
consultant) said that nipple confusion doesn't really happen and I should just
use bottles because its' so much easier.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I agree.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Finally,
when it comes to maintaining an adequate milk supply, I found that it was helpful
that when my babies slept longer stretches at night, I would wake up
dripping.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When this happened, I went and
pumped<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>then the babies would drink that
the next night when they were stockpiling for thier big long stretch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it
worked because it evolved into them sleeping through the night at 3 months yay!
I pray for that for all MOMs!) and I would pump before I went to bed (if it was
a late night for me) or early in the wee hours (if I turned in early that
night).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then they would drink that the
next night when they were clusterfeeding and stockpilingso they could sleep and what they didn't
drink I stuck in the fridge.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> Good luck and best wishes to all you !!!!!</span></div>
Nannerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12549332286209169484noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6302583394075744068.post-22142485344542760052012-07-31T05:52:00.000-07:002013-09-03T21:17:36.715-07:00Getting Ready to Breastfeed Twins<div style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">
</div>
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With
all the benefits of breastfeeding, many moms strive to nurse their babies at
least for a few weeks, and some for much longer. While breastfeeding one baby
has a steep learning curve and struggles, breastfeeding two or more can bring a
whole new variety of challenges and complications. The most common challenges
to breastfeeding twins relates to the fact that many twins are at least
slightly premature. Even a birth date at 35 weeks – which is only 1 week
shy of what is considered ‘full term’ for twins - can affect a baby’s ability
to nurse efficiently. And even breastfeeding healthy full-term twins brings a
set of challenges that most moms and lactation consultants have never
encountered.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">
Honestly,
I want to warn you that the greatest challenges of breastfeeding for me were
not logistic, nor physical. They were mental – either self-imposed, or imposed
under the pressure of a well-meaning but short-sighted lactation consultant or
nurse.</div>
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If
you want to breastfeed your twins - exclusively or not -and make the whole experience a
lot easier on yourself, I recommend you invest some time researching and
learning now before the babies arrive…finding time to read and comprehend a book while playing ‘Hot
Potato’ with 2 crying newborns is simply not enjoyable or effective! Read
(ok, at least skim) a good comprehensive book on breastfeeding like this one...</div>
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<br /></div>
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?lt1=_blank&bc1=000000&IS2=1&bg1=FFFFFF&fc1=000000&lc1=0000FF&t=tandetwinn-20&o=1&p=8&l=as4&m=amazon&f=ifr&ref=ss_til&asins=1558327207" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;"></iframe>
<br />
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">
Find
a breastfeeding 101 course from le leche league, your hospital, birth center or birth and parenting education center. Nothing beats
the getting the 411 in person from someone who knows what they are talking
about!</div>
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Get
a phone number of a lactation consultant or counselor. Try to get a referral from a friend or acquaintance who had a good experience. Also, find out how she charges - if by visit, or for calls or both. (Some may charge two fees for twins, even if they only have one visit with you. You really should not have to pay for twice when they truly only have one visit, unless they are doing
extensive coaching/examination of each baby and spending twice the time doing it). Also,
you should also call your insurance company to find out if L.C. is covered. -
Note sometimes it is covered better or only during your postpartum hospital
stay, but not thereafter. If you do have questions or problems breastfeeding when the babies arrive and sleep is in short order, the
hardest part is already done –finding an expert to call, and all that’s left for you to do is
pick up the phone!</div>
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<br /></div>
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Create
a ‘nursing nest’. You will be spending a LOT of time with your little
nurslings. You might as well do it as comfortably as possible! If you have a
rocking chair, glider or other comfy chair you plan to use, create a ‘nursing
nest’ with it. (If you don't have a special chair, pick a spot on the couch or other chair with space to keep supplies nearby) This means choosing place that makes the most sense for
your lifestyle and schedule. Yes, instinctively you may want to place it in the
babies’ room, but that may not be the best option depending on your family and
preferences. For instance, since I had 2 older 3 year olds, I put my nursing
nest in the living room so I could watch and interact with my other kids and
make sure they weren’t getting into trouble! Next to my chair, I put a TV tray
that could hold my laptop computer or a book or magazine. On the window sill of
the other side of the chair, I put a small basket in which I could store all
sorts of essentials – nipple cream, TV remote, an extra burp cloth, tissues, my
breastfeeding reference book and my big kid’s favorite finger puppets. I also
kept the boppy leaning right next to the chair as well as my breast pump.</div>
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<br />
Here are some other recommendations just based on my personal experience...<br />
<br />
Nursing Bras</div>
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Buy just one or two nursing bra in advance, buy
different styles so you can decide which you like best after you are nursing.
Get one that fits even while you are pregnant, but err on the large side as
your bosoms will soon have superhuman elastic capabilities. It was much easier
to know what fit well AFTER I was actually nursing. Then you can stock up on
your favorite bras. I also highly recommend nursing bras with one-handed access
– NOT SNAPS! Sometimes you just don’t have 2 hands available when you have 2
babies!</div>
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<br />
Comfort measures</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">
I
recommend getting the gel pad ‘soothies’ and a good nipple cream. I like the
cocoa butter oil-based version that is not sticky like the lanolin and it goes
on nicely even if you’re a bit chaffed.</div>
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<br />
Breast Pump</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">
You don't usually need to buy this ahead of time because first, it is hard to know what you will need, and also they usually have them available a the hospital. Though, if you are pretty sure that you want a pump, you can buy ahead of time and shop for the best deal. If you will be going back to work at some point, you will probably want to plan on buying a good pump. Some moms who stay home hardly, if ever, use one. If
you aren’t going to buy your own breast pump, try to rent or borrow one. It will really help you build supply for
the first several weeks and when your babies have growth spurts. If you
do borrow one, you should probably buy all new parts for it at a baby
superstore near you, or order online.</div>
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<br />
Find other M.O.M.s who know</div>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Get connected with a
good twins club/ moms club in your area. You will no doubt have questions or
need input that is best found from other mothers of twins who have recently
been in your shoes. If you can’t find a local club, join an online forum like are available at babycenter.com that has mothers of multiples groups </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><a href="http://community.babycenter.com/groups/a20785?scid=ddigest_body" target="_blank">(like this one)</a></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">. They are usually free of
charge and full of compassionate women who have wisdom and experience they are eager to share.</span>Nannerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12549332286209169484noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6302583394075744068.post-21286548899033288762012-07-28T05:21:00.000-07:002012-07-28T05:21:21.765-07:00Gentle, Patient and Kind...sibling (and parent) readiness!<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"></span></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Well, just a quick post to say...I'm late! I've never been on known for being on time, so it is fitting. My due date was 2 days ago. I had a checkup yesterday and everything looks great, so we are just waiting and this point. People ask me if I'm antsy, but really, no. I can wait for this baby</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> to be ready.</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> I have plenty to do in the meanwhile...like clean, work on some blog posts, heck, I even have some 'work' to finish up and a church website that I am helping put together. I am almost hoping for an extra week or 2 actually! But even if I didn't have that, I still would have my other kids to play with and spend extra time with. Which I am trying to do now.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">When my older ones were 3, and we were expecting the second set of twins, I really didn't do too much 'prep' that way. I simply tried to keep them involved in the pregnancy, looking at my belly and feeling the babies kick. Asking them what they wanted to name them (Ellie and Jo were the answers! Not bad for 3 year olds I guess!) Talking about what the babies would look like when they are born. Dispelling myths about how they would not be able to play with the babies much until they were older. And how little babies put things in their mouths and can choke so it will be important to keep the little toys upstairs in their room (really, you don't have to worry about this until the babies are about six months old!). We talked about how the babies would drink milk from my breasts, and how they might cry alot and how mom will need lots of help getting diapers, blankets or towels. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">After the babies did arrive, I also made sure to spend some extra fun time with my big girls on a special outing every week or 2 for that first month or so after the babies arrived. The grandma's were glad to help babysit the little ones so I could take the big ones to the zoo for a few hours, or even just to the mall or the grocery store.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">And in fact, when the
little sisters arrived, I don't remember having any problems of jealousy or
indifference or anger. Both the big sisters were nearly four years old at the time, and were really quite proud and
interested in this phenomenon of each having a baby sister (they basically claimed who belonged to who! But the concept quickly faded over time!). Not that we didn't have problems! Just
not those ones...</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">But what's been on my
mind now, is how crazy life in our house is already, and how much
crazier it is going to be very soon. </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">How to manage 5 different kids with various attention spans, anxiety
problems, emotional regulation difficulties and cognitive ability to
understand why a baby needs my attention more than they do for the
moment.</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I've been paying extra attention
to the things that are going to be hard - like teaching my kids to be
patient when they need something from me. Right now, I am usually
available quite immediately. But with a tiny baby, I've explained to
them that I might be feeding her, or getting her to sleep, and that they
may have to help themselves or manage to wait PATIENTLY for a few
minutes. In fact, most times that there is fighting or crying in our
house (remember, the twins are ages 3 and 7!) it is almost always
because someone is not being either gentle, patient, or kind. I guess it's my new version of how to prepare your older kids when you are
having a baby, or babies...</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I've focused on three character qualities. "Gentle, patient and kind" has become a mantra in our house. Every time someone teases their sister, fights over something or simply has a meltdown waiting for a turn or waiting for me, I start asking them, "Is that the way you should behave?", "You</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> need</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> to be gentle, patient and kind...which one are you having trouble with right now?". If it is a fight between the two older ones, or an older and younger one, I will ask the older one "What just happened?" and "What should have been done differently" and while they are quick to point out the faults of the other involved, I also point out how their own kindness, gentleness or patience was lacking, and then usually tell them to practice saying or doing what they should have.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Is this working? I don't know. So far, perhaps for one of the older ones...a little. We'll probably have to keep it up a long time I guess. I figure, it certainly can't hurt!</span> <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Meanwhile, I am practicing those traits myself! The best way to learn is by example, and it is really hard to expect your kids to not yell at one another, if you yell at them. Or to wait patiently for things, when you are not patient when you want them to get their shoes on and get in the car, or to be gentle and kind and when your voice gets strained when you tell them for the sixth time to do something or push them away abruptly when they are teasing their sibling. I found the bible verse to be very true</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> - before you remove the spec from your brother's eye, you must remove the plank from your own eye! After all, could I really blame my kids for saying 'shut up' to each other, when they heard it from me first? I could say similar things about my husband's habits. It is really an exercise for all of us I guess. Here's hoping that it lends to a more peaceful atmosphere in our house...</span>Nannerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12549332286209169484noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6302583394075744068.post-35191836432272802362012-07-10T06:58:00.000-07:002012-07-11T06:40:21.008-07:00Packing for the Hospital When You're Expecting Twins<div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">
So, I hung out with a friend tonight who was asking 'How many weeks are you now?'. I just hit 37. "Any Day now!" she said. I've been telling people that if I were the 'betting type' I wouldn't put any money down until August! (My due date is July 26). I told her that I didn't even have my bags packed yet, nor the crib up...she said I was crazy. No. I'm just busy, and after carrying 2 sets of twins full term only to be induced at 38 and 39 weeks, I figure my chances of having a singleton before her due date just aren't very good. Though, I suppose something flukey could always happen, but I'm not anticipating it! Anyway, on the way home, I decided tonight would be a good night to pack my bags. Correction, tonight would be a good night to sit here and type what my husband is packing as I dictate it to him :)<br />
<br />
If you are expecting twins, you should DEFINITELY pack your bag before 37 weeks, as the average twin mom has had her babies by then! I think it was just after 30 weeks that I packed my bags when I was having twins.</div>
<div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">1. My Nightgown. </span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I didn't get through either of my first two labors in the hospital gown - too hot and uncomfortable. The first time I ended up nude (long story - I had been in the shower for a while and never got dressed afterward) the second time I shed the hospital gown after a few hours in favor of my strapless, much lighter, cooler nightgown - which we had to cut the strap and re-tie in order to get it on over the IV drip machine.</span><br />
<div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">
<b>2. Microwaveable Heat-pack</b></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Though the hospital staff frowned upon us using this (I'm sure we could sue them if my husband heated it up too hot and burned me or something asinine). I consider it an absolute necessity. It is great both during labor to help relax muscles and definitely afterward when the cramps kick in and the ibuprofen wears off. Of course the hospital has heat packs, but they are the chemical kind that are about the size of your hand and get about as warm as your armpit on a summer's day. You can make your own simply by buying a large tightly-knit tube and filling it with rice or flax seed or corn and knotting the opening. Simply heat until desired temperature in the microwave at 30-second intervals.</span><br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">3. Slippers</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">For sliding on and getting around the hospital and not having to mess with tying shoes. Dad might want to bring his too. This is especially useful if you are there for a longer stay if you have a C-section. </span><br />
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">
<b>4. My 'Away Bag'</b></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">This is just my toiletry travel bag which I always keep fully loaded and ready-to-go in under my bathroom sink. It has all the necessities like shampoo, deodorant, toothbrush/toothpaste, lotion, hairbrush, etc. It also has all my husband's similar necessities so we don't have to lug two bags everywhere we go.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">5. Some labor necessities</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">This is mostly things that are already in your 'away bag' but that I wanted to point them out individually, because to be without them can be torture. a) chapstick (need I say more?) b) hair bands or ties. I had some brand new ones during my first birth and I didn't realize that they were too stretchy and wouldn't keep them pigtails in my hair! c) your preferred nipple cream...I think most hospitals provide lanolin, but I am not sure! d) glasses AND contacts if you wear both (you may find one or the other hard to manage during labor...especially if you get hot or in the tub/shower and your glasses fog up! It was SO annoying to have then constantly falling out and in every picture you can hardly see my face because it is usually covered by my hair! If there is anything else you personally want that would be helpful during labor, like a photo to focus on, or a squishy stress ball to squeeze, or massage oil or scented oils, or music, or WHATEVER...jot it down, or put it in your bag now.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">6. For Dad</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Change of clothes, including sweatshirt! (can you tell I am a freeze-baby!), slippers, glasses &/or contacts, snacks, pillow, toothbrush and toothpaste, comb, razer, shampoo, etc. I think many of these things are mentioned elsewhere, but I wanted to put a summary here!</span><br />
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<b>7. A Book, movie, or some knitting, just in case</b></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Not that you expect to go have a baby in the hospital and have a lot of time to kill in the meanwhile. BUT let's just say, you never know. I was admitted with my second set of twins being told I was to be induced straight away. After a night of Cervadil, my care got transferred to a different doctor who sent me home to take some medication before being induced again a few days later. But not after spending about 18 hours in the hospital just sitting around waiting to consult with various doctors and specialists and for discharge papers and such! I was so glad I had brought a book and some tinkering projects. I thought they were maybe trying to squeeze another night's billing out of me...</span><br />
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<b>8.Snacks</b></div>
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This is a broad category. It could be snacks you prefer for during labor, if you are lucky enough to have a care provider who will let you eat (or plan to anyway). Snacks for after delivery when the hospital meal just doesn't quite cut it. And don't forget dad...after all, the hospital doesn't bring him a lukewarm plate of slop every 4 hours, so if the cafeteria isn't open, he's on his own looking for a Taco Bell all-night drive thru or grabbing a granola bar! It's also a good idea to make sure you have some small bills and change for vending machines.</div>
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<b>9. Cell Phone & Charger</b></div>
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After all, you might like to make some phone calls about your new arrival! And even if you can't use your mobile phone in the hospital, you'll probably need the phone numbers from it, so make sure they are all in there!</div>
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<b>10. Your favorite pillow</b></div>
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Make sure it is in a notable pillow case so it doesn't get mixed up with the hospital pillows. It will be handy when you need 100 pillows to tandem nurse, should you get that ambitious while you are there! AND if your hubby stays overnight with you, he will really appreciate it too! </div>
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<b>11. Nursing Bras</b></div>
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This will be nice to make you feel like a 'real person' again under that hospital gown or pajamas you brought!</div>
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<b>12. Some nice granny undies</b></div>
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The hospital will provide you with these lovely, massive, disposable grandma underwear things. They are ok. If you would rather wear your own actual cotton massive granny undies, be sure to bring them with - and be sure they are big enough to house a sanitary pad with built-in cold pack that is the size of a phone book!</div>
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<b>13. Clothes to wear home</b></div>
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Just don't get too optimistic about getting into your favorite jeans again...definitely bring something with an elastic waste-band or better yet, a maternity dress.</div>
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<b>14. Camera/Video Camera/Charger/ Batteries!</b></div>
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Don't forget, you'll want to have a few pics or videos to remember your babies' special day! It is also good to bring some disposable cameras, as nurses and friends are more inclined to pick those up and snap some memorable shots than they are your big breakable, confusing DSLR. If you are delivering in an operating room (standard procedure often times even for vaginal twin births), make sure film exposure for the throw-away camera is for outdoor use because the lights in there are BRIGHT and if you get a camera for indoor use that has better film exposure, your pics will all be washed out like ours were. :(<br />
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<b>15. Your birth preferences or birth plan </b><br />
If you have one...this is a handy way to communicate to nurses and staff what your preferences are for labor and delivery, without having to state them 100 times - which is kind of tuff when you are having a contraction anyway!</div>
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What to pack for your babies...</div>
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<b>16. Special baby blankets, if you have them</b> </div>
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Here, it is COLD in hospitals, in winter, it's cold because it's winter. In summer, it's cold because the air conditioning is set to keep it winter inside. The hospital blankets are simply cotton, so you may want a little heavier one for your little bundles. If you have a special blanket you made or were given for them, it will be precious to have in photos, and if the blankets are a little different, it will help you tell whose bassinet is whose as just a glance without having to read the 'fine print' on the bassinet tag. We actually made simple little name tags for in our bassinets cut out in the shape of a heart with some little stickers.</div>
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<b>17. Special baby hats, if you have them </b></div>
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Your babies will each get a little hat when they are born to help them maintain their body temperature. If you have special baby hats that someone gave you or you purchased, now is a perfect time to use them! And again, if they are slightly different, it is handy to help you tell them apart without looking at their wrist bands, in case they happen to look alot alike!</div>
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<b>18. 1-2 simple outfits to wear at the hospital</b></div>
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As I said before, where i am from, hospitals are cold. Here they provide a tiny wrap around shirt for your baby to wear, but that doesn't do much if their toes are cold! We brought a simple snap or zip up sleeper jamma for them to wear. Some hospitals also have volunteers or services that will take your babies' photos so you may want to bring a special outfit for that.</div>
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<b>19. Special going home outfits</b></div>
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Again, you may want this to be weather appropriate. As much as I may have loved to have cute dresses for them with matching bonnets and pinafores, it just wasn't going to work with Minnesota February when the temperature ranges from minus 20 to about plus 20. Our special 'coming home' outfits were a cute pair of soft fleece polka dot pajamas!</div>
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<b>20. Car seats</b></div>
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Where I am from, you can't leave the hospital with your baby without one...need I say more?</div>Nannerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12549332286209169484noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6302583394075744068.post-11530564927458585882012-06-19T23:22:00.000-07:002012-06-19T23:22:09.878-07:00Gestational Diabetes ScreeningWARNING: 1am stream of consciousness ahead. More practical advice to come in subsequent posts!<br />
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So in case you missed the news flash...I am expecting once again, but expecting only one this time! There has been much that has been different, and much that has been the same about this pregnancy. But this gestational diabetes is new for me. I failed my one hour glucose screening. This is test is usually done around the start of your third trimester (unless you have risk factors for diabetes like family history). You get to drink a sugary beverage...in my case it was just like orange pop [yum], but without the carbonation [blachh]. Then they draw your blood an hour later and see if your blood sugar levels are within an acceptable range. If they are not, then you get to come back for the torture of drinking another disgusting flat pop on an empty stomach first thing in the morning and then waiting 3 hours after that before you get to eat anything else so they can draw your blood 3 times and see how your body handles that nasty concoction. I failed that one too. Supposedly, there are risk factors that contribute to your likelihood of having gestational diabetes...like being overweight, being over age 35, having a family history of diabetes, being of Asian decent, or (of course) carrying twins or more!<br />
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Of course, what is odd for me is that when I WAS carrying twins, I didn't have gestational diabetes. This time, I didn't have any of those risk factors, so for me it is a
mystery. Although I am eerily close to age 35, and maybe eerily close to 'obese' too, though I didn't feel like it. I was hoping to not have
to feel 'old' yet, or gluttonously overweight, but this GD certainly is making me feel both!<br />
I had been so excited to have a simple, easy, low-risk singleton pregnancy, now I have gestational diabetes to throw me back into an elevated risk category. [sigh].<br />
In all honesty, I wasn't that anxious about having 'GD' with it's implications for eating and potentially for taking medicine. But I was more anxious about how labor and delivery was going to be handled now that I had this new label. Basically, my doctor said that as long as I could control it with diet, labor and delivery would be the same...except that they might induce me a week early or something - especially if the baby looked large. To her, it seemed no big deal. To a mom who has twice been induced with twins because her body did not go into labor on its own and who really does NOT want to be induced again...kinda big deal.<br />
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Here I am a month later. I've been pricking my finger after every meal and once in the morning to test my blood glucose levels. I've been watching what I eat, and at 34 weeks and 6 days, so for it's been pretty easy to keep my numbers in 'normal' range and to control with diet alone. Heck, on good days I can get away with eating pretty much what was normal for me anyway, minus juice, pop, chocolate and cookies! (I know that sounds depressing, but really, I can still eat an occasional cookie, I just can't pop them like Valium when my kids are having a bad day!) I can even get away with eating ice cream as a bed time snack at night!<br />
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Well, the one thing this motivated me enough to do, was to change health care providers. I love my doctor, she is a complete sweetheart and would have been the one to personally attend and deliver my baby - not just whoever was 'on call'. But, in the end, I felt like she was just a peon in a big medical conglomerate who really wasn't free to use her personal judgement in anything to do with my health or pregnancy. Instead, protocols and procedures and establishment requirements reign supreme, regardless of what my doctor and I might think is appropriate or acceptable in a given situation. I learned that from being with her for my twin pregnancies too- there was always 'that's just the way we have to do it' as the common answer to my question of 'why do I have to _______?'<br />
As it was, I was not looking forward to going back to the hospital I delivered at before...in general it was just not friendly to moms who don't actually lay in bed with an epidural for their entire labor. There is no bathtub in the laboring rooms. The nurses look at you funny when you move around and ask you to just sit still so they can get a better tape of the babies' heart rates. When they see you have a birth plan, they roll their eyes. Then when they see you have a doula and a friend coming, they feel free to make a snide remark about how this is going to be a big crowded party. Can we just say I have negative vibes?<br />
A month ago, I was willing to go back to that hospital and grin and bare it by thinking that I was a low-risk singleton mom who was going to go in, pop out the baby and leave in less than 48 hours. But now, I'm back in the 'special' category again. and I just can't feel good about going there and getting the 'special treatment' again. At least not when I know there are other options.<br />
So after talking to a friend who switched care to a midwife group late in her pregnancy, she encouraged me to look into doing the same...then I called...and then I did it. The Midwife group told me that as long as my diabetes was controlled with diet alone and medication was not needed (and as long as I didn't have any other big red flags in my medical history) that they could take my case...even at 32 weeks. They said that I could even do a water birth if I wanted. Or, I could just labor in the tub in my room (yes, even after my water was broken...which was a huge no-no at the hospital I was at before, they only let me do a shower, and for that I had to walk across the hall of the hospital to even get to the undersized-for-a-twin-mom shower). They said that since research didn't show any benefits to 'larger' babies of GD momma who were induced early, that they generally do not induce GD moms if their babies appear large... another big relief for me! After having gone through 2 inductions, I can safely say that inductions aren't my bag 'o tea.<br />
Anyway, I am now totally pumped and feeling so much better and less anxious about this birth. I'm so glad I made the switch. Now, I feel like I should write my doctor a dear John letter, and let her know that it really wasn't anything personal...<br />
<br />Nannerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12549332286209169484noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6302583394075744068.post-10856809110334021682012-03-04T23:05:00.018-08:002012-03-04T23:05:00.120-08:00His Needs Her Needs - Book Review<div style="text-align: center;"><iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=tandetwinn-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=0800719387&nou=1&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;"></iframe></div><div style="text-align: center;">FIVE out of FIVE stars *****</div><br />
So admittedly, I don't get to do nearly as much reading as I wish I did. But having a working <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00400TGEC/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=tandetwinn-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00400TGEC">MP3 Player</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=tandetwinn-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B00400TGEC" width="1" height="1" border="0" alt="" style="border:none !important; margin:0px !important;" /> (again after misplacing it for a while) and an <a href="http://www.amazon.com/mn/search/?_encoding=UTF8&tag=tandetwinn-20&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=390957&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Aaudible%20his%20needs%20her%20needs&field-keywords=audible%20his%20needs%20her%20needs&url=search-alias%3Daps&ajr=0" target="_blank">Audible.com subscripion</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="https://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=tandetwinn-20&l=ur2&o=1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /> is a huge help in that. Now, I can 'read' while driving, going for a walk, or pulling weeds (or this time of year - shoveling snow). And so on my 4 hour drive this past weekend, that is exactly what I did. I got through most of 'His Needs Her Needs' by Willard F. Harley Jr. and I listened to the rest of it over the next few days on trips to school and the store. <br />
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This book basically has a chapter for each of the major needs the typical mate needs from his or her partner giving special attention to the fact that the 5 things men need most are different from women's top 5 and the fact that your mate isn't wrong or weird for prioritizing his or her needs differently than you do your own. Everything is put in terms of your 'love bank'. If we were all little piggy banks walking around that take only deposits and withdrawals of displays of love instead of money. So for instance, if I wash the dishes after the kids are in bed, that might deposit one 'unit' of love with my husband. But because his needs for a tidy home are different than mine. And When he does the dishes, he maybe makes a deposit of 3 'love units' in my bank. A good roll in the hay - for him, 5 units guaranteed. For me, 3 - 5 depending on my mood :) The point is much like the Book on speaking your mate's love language: what you think communicates love to your mate isn't the same as what they perceive. It's all about putting yourself in their shoes.<br />
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My driving time couldn't have been better spent. We parents of small kids tend to forget about our poor spouse to some extent when we become parents. After all, they are adults, they understand...right? Yet even if they do understand that certain needs of the kids are more urgent than their own, if loosing out on the things you used to enjoy together becomes an enduring habit, your relationship becomes less and less fun. If you are like me, physically and mentally exhausted, whatever 'having fun' with your mate used to mean probably doesn't seem as important right now as it once was. But if your marriage isn't fun anymore, and at best you are missing out and robbing you and your spouse of what could still be happy years and at worst, you are putting your marriage on the path for a train wreck. During my listen, I realized that that there are several needs my husband has which I could definitely do better at, and some that I probably am doing ok. But it also helped me put a finger areas in which my needs weren't being met. Before I just wished that my husband got along better with some of our kids and talked differently to them - now I know that Most moms have a deep need for their husbands to be good dads, and i now have a means of verbalizing this.<br />
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Here is a chapter list:<br />
1. How Affair-Proof is Your Marriage?<br />
2. Why Your Love Bank Never Closes<br />
3. The First Thing She Can't Do Without - Affection<br />
4. The First Thing He Can't Do Without - Sexual Fulfillment<br />
5. Intimate Conversation<br />
6. Recreational Companionship<br />
7. Honesty and Openness<br />
8. Physical Attractiveness<br />
9. Financial Support<br />
10. Domestic Support<br />
11. Family Commitment<br />
12. Admiration<br />
13. How to Survive an Affair<br />
14. From Incompatible to Irresistible<br />
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I think its significant to note that he doesn't really make judgements about what a person's needs are in marriage, but simply states them as fact and that if the spouse truly loves them, they should have a desire to fulfill that need to the extent they can, even if they don't share it. <br />
So one of the needs men most always rank higher than women is the need for their mate to be physically attractive. What noble man marries a woman only for her body? Hopefully none. But if seeing someone who still somewhat resembles the bride he married makes him happier - well, what's wrong with that as long as she is able to oblige? Now, after having twins, there is just only so much a poor woman can do. But the point he makes here is that we shouldn't be totally neglecting some effort to look our best if that is something that truly makes our husbands happy. As much as I don't believe that a husband has a right to have a wife who looks the same as the day they were married, I realized that as a mom I am TOTALLY LAZY about the way I look. Sweatshirts and pig tails all the way for me. Make up...what's that? My husband has never complained about it, but I'm sure he would love to see the best me, and no the laziest, grungiest me, and if that makes him happier I'm glad to put some more effort into it. I shouldn't need an excuse to put on make up every day anyway :)<br />
Same with the need Dr. Harley calls 'financial support' which wives usually rank higher than husbands. What kind of woman marries for the money? While marring ONLY for money is certainly deceptive and just plain wrong, you have to admit that a mom who has the option of working only part time, or not at all (if that is what she wants)is going to be alot happier than the mom who begrudgingly sends her kids to daycare to go to a job she hates everyday. And if they can make career changes, education changes, even lifestyle changes that can accommodate that - what's wrong with that?<br />
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I guess that there are also several items he mentions that my hubby and I are totally satisfied with - but never though to realize how different, and more difficult our marriage would be without them. That said, I think it was a great book and give it 5 out of 5 stars. I think it is important for us parents to take an occasional break from worrying about what kind of parents we are and to think instead about what kind of spouses we are.Nannerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12549332286209169484noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6302583394075744068.post-90432217332670072772012-02-29T22:42:00.002-08:002012-02-29T22:52:58.819-08:00Late Pregnancy Tests for twins: Kick CountingYour physician will probably recommend that you begin kick counts some later point in your pregnancy. If your physician does not tell you when to start, you may do it on your own anyway, there are no risks...other than that you might freak yourself out and have trouble sleeping if you tend to worry alot :) I started kick counts around 30 weeks, but you can start as soon as you can reliably and daily feel your babies move - probably around 24 weeks. It is a very simple way to give you peace of mind that your babies are doing well!<br />
Here’s how to do it. The guideline I was given was that I should feel 10 movements (for each baby!) within two hours during your babies' most active time of day. So it is easiest to do this when your babies’ are at their most rambunctious. <a href="http://www.americanpregnancy.org/duringpregnancy/PEwhatiskickcounting.html">The ACOG</a> recommends simply keeping track of each and every baby movement you feel from one baby, and when you get to 10, note how long it has been since you began. If it takes longer than 2 hours, they recommend you let your physician know.<br />
The challenging part for us mothers of multiples is deciding which baby kicked! I know with my first twins, I could tell with some movements that it was baby B, but with others, I had no clue. See, baby A was vertex (head down) with her feet up kicking my lungs. Baby B was transverse across the top, or sometimes she was laying transverse the other direction along the top, or sometimes was breech. But every time I had an ultrasound she was different. So I never fully knew if baby A was kicking her feet against my lungs or baby B was turned that way and had one of her little arms or legs there and was kicking her sister back. Unfortunately, it was habit forming as they are still exhibiting this behavior at six years of age!<br />
Reduced fetal activity is an indication that baby might be in distress and potentially not getting enough nutrients and oxygen. So if you notice one of your babies’ activity dropped suddenly one day to the next, you should probably contact your doctor. Some women will say that they feel their babies move less as they get bigger. I agree that I felt less overall movement as the babies got bigger because there was probably less room to move in, but it might be that the movements were just not as strong and pronounced. I would say that you should pay really close attention to make sure you catch all the little flutters as well. But in the end, if you notice a very gradual change over several weeks, I personally chose not worry about it as much as a sudden change over a day or two. Bottom line is: if you aren't counting enough kicks and starting to feel uneasy about it, call your physician. She should be glad to double check that everything is ok and put your mind at ease and you will feel better that you did.Nannerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12549332286209169484noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6302583394075744068.post-34382229238295432532011-11-30T20:54:00.000-08:002011-11-30T20:54:26.128-08:00Mid to Late Pregnancy Test for twins: Level II UltrasoundLevel II Ultrasound (also known as a fetal anatomy survey or scan)<br />
This ultrasound is standard for all pregnancies (not just multiples) and is usually the 'big one' where you first get to learn your babies' genders. It is done when you are about 20 weeks along, but is usually repeated later in pregnancy if you are expecting multiples. My second level II ultrasounds were done around 30 weeks. This is done to assure that both babies are growing at a healthy rate and that intrauterine growth restriction, twin to twin transfusion syndrome (TTTS) or other complications are not affecting growth. With a singleton pregnancy, if mom’s belly is getting bigger, you can be quite assured that the baby is too. But with two inside, it is good to have more assurance that both babies are growing well and at a similar rate.<br />
This ultrasound is essentially your babies’ first physical exam. The technician will take time to measure several different parts of baby’s body, including baby’s ‘crown to rump’ length (it’s hard to measure a baby’s total height when she’s all squished up in there!), head circumference, length of arms and legs and even of her little foot (which is a great measurement to keep track of and note or draw if you keep a pregnancy journal!) I actually asked the technician to simply print the screen on which she tracked all of my babies' measurements. Of course, you can learn the gender of your babies if you want, but be sure to let the technician know if you want to be surprised. <br />
The technician (or sonographer) will also ‘examine’ some of babies’ major organs – kidneys, heart and brain. They do this to the extent that they examine each heart chamber, and identify the sections of her brain. They also view and measure the stomach. Suffice it to say that if they don’t find anything unusual, you probably have some very healthy babies in your big belly. Even if they do find something 'iffy' it is often resolved or more clearly normal at a later ultrasound.<br />
If you see something you like, be sure to ask the technician to print a photo for you. Most technicians will give you a whole bunch of shots from the ultrasound, just be sure you check them before posting on your facebook profile, I found mine had my birth date, full name AND social security number embedded on them! So much for privacy…I wonder if they shred those when they are done?<br />
Before your ultrasound, you may want to consider the following so you can be prepared. First, it takes about 45 minutes to do this detailed examination on just ONE baby. Add a second baby in there, and you could be in the ultrasound room for an hour and a half. Now consider that baby B will sometimes get in the way of a measurement they are trying to get on Baby A and now you could be in there for up to 2 hours! I recommend taking a potty break right before the exam (presuming you don’t need a full bladder as you do with earlier ultrasound exams). Also, you might bring a snack if it will be getting close to meal time.<br />
This site "<a href="http://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/pregnancy-health/prenatal-testing/ultrasound-anatomy-two.aspx">What to Expect</a>", has some great info on ultrasounds and all pregnancy testing.Nannerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12549332286209169484noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6302583394075744068.post-35362879587543177072011-10-26T20:32:00.000-07:002011-10-26T20:32:14.589-07:00The Anxiety Cure for Kids - Book Review<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=tandetwinn-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=0471263613&nou=1&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;"></iframe><br />
<br />
The Anxiety Cure for Kids by Elizabeth DuPont<br />
One Star<br />
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I read this book because one of my daughters has really been struggling with panic attacks and fits of crying over the tiniest infractions of personal discomfort ever since starting first grade. She has struggled on and off with anxiety since, well since birth I guess, but I wanted to find out how I could help her and what I can do, what SHOULD I do. Well, the book is only mildly helpful for our situation. It did lay out just a few concepts and fundamentals, but about 85% of the book is a list of exercises or mental (and sometimes physical) drills that will help give your child the skills needed to cope with anxiety. It may be useful to some, but it didn't help give me the big picture understanding of what my child is experiencing and how to parent her in light of it. Rather, if I had the time and understanding to do as self-evaluation of he strengths and weaknesses that contribute to her struggle with anxiety, I could make a plan to use these drills to help her develop the skills she needs. While this may be helpful to some, it really wasn't for me because the causes of her anxiety seem so scattered and often related to sensory integration disorder. It may be helpful when combined with some other resources, but for me it gets 1 out of 4 stars.Nannerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12549332286209169484noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6302583394075744068.post-51634577222114110502011-09-19T22:08:00.000-07:002011-09-19T22:12:10.931-07:00I wish life had a speed limitFirst, I apologize for the long absence. Now for an explanation. Sometimes, life stinks. No, really(see #6). I wish there were a limit on the rate at which things can break down and go wrong in life. Here is the short list of things my family has been juggling both mentally and physically (ya, there's more than I can even write about right now):<br />
1. My husband's mother passed away unexpectedly in mid-August - besides our own grief, it also forced us to explain this all to our kids of course too. And besides grief, a death in the family brings about a number of 'administrative' duties like cancelling services and probate and making service arrangements and a myriad other things that no sane human can remotely consider pleasant.<br />
2. This also caused more legal work and administrative work in coordinating guardianship for my husband's sister who is mentally handicapped. Not to mention that now we will need to arrange to make the 2 hour drive to occasionally visit and bring her to visit us for holidays.<br />
3. Did I mention that we got a letter telling us our health insurance costs were more than doubling as of September 1st? That's fun too.<br />
4. After we had all the funeral arrangements made as she had pre-arranged and pre-paid and the obituary had run, we got a call from the funeral home informing us that she actually cashed out her pre-arrangement plan and that we owed them a big fat sum of money (of course they waited until after the arrangements were a done deal...is that bait and switch or WHAT!?!? <br />
5. As if one death were not enough, I got to sing at a funeral for a 3 day old baby. The tiny little girl was born to a dear friend of mine who was expecting twins on December 10th. She went into labor and gave birth at only 23 weeks - the cusp of survival. The other twin born to her is currently in the NICU and is totally a rock star. Thank God for that!<br />
6. My youngest twins who are now 2 suddenly begun having what I call TAPS (Toxic & Abundant Pooh Syndrome). It was causing diaper rash and general crankiness and separation anxiety (just what we needed to make the cherry on top, right?) Finally, on a hunch, I stopped giving them dairy products. The pooh suddenly stopped, but the diaper rash still persists.<br />
7. School? Did someone say 1st Grade? Ooooooohhhhh, ya, I better find that supply list somewhere. Did you know that if you wait until the Friday before school, you don't actually get great deals, you get nothing. How Target can run out of glue sticks, pencils, erasers, pencil boxes, dry erase markers, and just about everything else before it has even gone on clearance mark downs and before school has even started, is way beyond my humble mental capacity.<br />
8. A family reunion to boot. Because nothing enjoyable can ever just be left to enjoy - it has to be thrown into a furnace of chaos for deleterious affect. Enjoyed seeing my family - wish I had been in a better state of mind. They probably think I am not the same person I used to be (and I'm not, but I'm hoping to be her again in a few weeks!)<br />
9. The mysterious bites. As if toxic pooh were not enough, my babies (I can call them babies until they're out of diapers, right?) have been getting mystery bug bites that just seem to appear regardless of what they wear, where we've been, and even whether or not we go outside at all! Their ped agreed they looked like bites, but couldn't find what on earth was biting them! We avoided going outside (which stinks with gorgeous fall weather!) We cleaned their room top to bottom looking for hiding spiders. We washed their bedding, we tried everything we could think of but the bites persisted - swelling up and getting itchy and adding to the general fussiness and malaise of our household mood. Finally a few days ago in a fit of frustration, we moved them into the room with their big sisters. It actually worked pretty well, and we haven't had any new bites since then. I guess the room sharing will be a permanent arrangement.<br />
10. Neighborhood break ins. In the past 3 weeks, there have been 3 burglaries in my small niche neighborhood of only about 11 homes. The thieves hit when no one is home and take lots of stuff in a very short time. So we need to be uber religious about setting our alarms and locking our doors. We are at the end of a dead end street and there is a park before the main road that you must drive by to get in or out. It would be VERY easy for the thieves sit there and clock everyone watching and waiting for them to go. I am so nervous and I hate to let my one daughter do her favorite thing - which is to go outside and catch butterflies. Since we are always home I am nervous they will try to get in while we are here. I am totally and officially freaked out.<br />
10. Just to make sure that every area of life has been affected, my husband got some disheartening test results back from the doctor. No - it isn't life threatening, thank God. But it definitely has been affecting his mood, his energy, even his ability to get all 3 things on the list he has for Walmart in one trip. Now we have to go through the drill and spend our time and money (not that we have any of either left) in specialists offices and laboratories figuring out what on earth is causing this. And hoping that he can return to his once happy-go-lucky, mentally focused, energetic self. Then again, after having 2 sets of twins do you ever get there? Time will tell I guess.<br />
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As for blogging, will I ever get back to it? Maybe after we get my mother in laws apartment cleaned out. That is a big task for us and we are very overwhelmed with to-do lists right now. But I will get back to it, and just to prove it, I'll do another post yet tonight - I think.<br />
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Here's to remembering a wonderful Oma who took great joy in her children and grandchildren. We all miss her.Nannerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12549332286209169484noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6302583394075744068.post-51647702634391749432011-07-31T21:33:00.000-07:002011-07-31T21:39:15.831-07:00I wish I had known...I recently saw a post online from a first-time mom expecting twins who simply asked "What do you wish you would have known?" The question really hit home for me, and is really the reason I started this blog. Here's my response:<br />
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There are so many things...I don't know where to start. Maybe that my back and hips would start aching at only 3 months and go downhill from there - until I discovered the joy of the chiropractor and massage. Maybe that my boobs would grow a cup size overnight when I was only 10 weeks pregnant while I was out of town and had no correctly-sized bras with. And that that would be the only place I would have permanent, noticeable stretch marks! And how about the new-found hormones that kept my DH and I busy at night (in a good way!)<br />
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Might have been good to know that I would really have to work hard to find physicians who knew how, and had experience delivering twins without doing a c-section regardless the presentation of baby B. Or that I would have to call around to find out if the hospital <i>will</i> let a doula in the delivery room because hospital educator and nurse and charge nurse told me 'no doulas, no way' while former patients with twins told me 'I had a doula and they didn't say no'. Or maybe that spell check doesn't recognize the word 'doula' - "what crunchy planet are you from anyway!?" I hated knowing that I would be restricted to laboring on my back on an operating table.<br />
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Or maybe I should have known that I would NOT need to go on bed rest and I would NOT have preemies and NOT need to spend time in the NICU and NOT have any big medical scares and actually be induced at 39 weeks, deliver vaginally and be able to breastfeed exclusively even for a year. (Praise God for all of that!)<br />
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Or maybe that it would be possible to reach almost 220 pounds and a 4 foot girth because I had more than 14 pounds of baby in me and that my belly would get really cold hanging out of my jacket in the -20 Minnesota February.Or how about that dandelion root extract is a miracle cure for PUPPS (itchy belly rash) which perhaps was the worst of my week 36-39 misery....that would have been great to know because no physician could offer me help with that one. (would have been nice if I learned THAT before I delivered)<br />
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Or maybe that I should politely ask friends and family to not visit in the hospital or at their pleasure for the first few weeks b/c we were so exhausted and when they babies actually both slept, inevitably, someone had come to visit and was too busy chatting at us to realize we needed privacy and rest. (have a few hour 'open house' so whoever wants to come can get it out of their system).And also that if you ask for help, family and friends will graciously pitch in and save your mental health...providing you keep them moving in the right direction.<br />
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Or maybe to know that when babies cry all the time, that it isn't always just 'they way babies are'. And that there is actually a reason for it, but whether or not you can discover that reason and treat it is your job to discover because your pediatrician may not have the same ambition you do (after all, he isn't the one up all night) and brush you off as a freak-out new mom. (reflux, food sensitivities, sensory processing disorder, figured those out when they were older). Or that when they do cry and nursing them is the only way to get them to sleep, that if you take safety measures and let them sleep in your bed you won't have child protective services show up at your door, and in fact that you might get more sleep if you do this than stay up trying to rock/bounce/sooth a baby all night who just wants to nurse. Or that some babies are <b><i>soooo</i> </b>stubborn and persistent that they will not go to sleep, no matter how long you let them scream.<br />
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And finally, would have been nice to know that even di/di girl twins could be identical, even if they look a little different. And even better to know that identical (mono-zygotic) twins may not just be a 'fluke' of nature, but there is actually research being done to determine if some moms and dads produce mono-zygotic offspring reliably. And even more so to know that when it happens all over again and you have yet another set of twins, it will be ok, everything you learned the first time will help you with every baby you welcome to your home and by the grace of God you might just survive it and might actually just love it.Nannerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12549332286209169484noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6302583394075744068.post-82640337815585856112011-07-07T23:13:00.000-07:002012-06-19T22:19:57.004-07:00What to buy when you're expecting twins? Part 1<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"> It starts for many of us as soon as you find out there’s more than one in there. What do I need to buy? Or maybe someone is throwing you a baby shower and you wonder what to register for. Or maybe you need to pick a gift for a mommy expecting twins. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">Let’s face it, having two of EVERYTHING is both expensive and takes up a lot of space. And if you are on a budget (or soon will be! ;) this should help you decide what you need most. It's a list of everything that I am glad I bought to manage my household with 2 little babies to care for. It is not a list of absolute necessities, but of items I thought were the best value and were worthwhile for me. It also tells you how I got by without some of the things many moms buy. Of course, all these items may not all be worthwhile for you, and if you talk to another twin mom, she will have a completely different list! So at the bottom, I have some links to other discussions of what twin moms found useful.<br />
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BTW - I tried to pick the items on Amazon that had the best quality, best prices and free or cheapest shipping, also, if you do put an item in your cart from my link and buy it, I'll get a small credit toward my amazon.com purchases - so if you do patronize, my gratitude to you in advance. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: purple;">For Mama</span></b></span> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">Baby Be Mine Maternity Belly Band 2 Pack 1-Black & 1-White</span><br />
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<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=tandetwinn-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=B000OSAH7Y&nou=1&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;"></iframe><br />
Therse are absolutely awesome! Wear under your clothes so your belly doesn't show. Saves tons of money so you don't have to buy as many maternity shirts. And I'm no psychic, but with twins even maternity shirts won't cover the whole package at some point in your near future!<br />
Don't waste money on expensive nursing shirts either. Wear these under any shirt and it is instantly a nursing top. Keeps your belly covered so you can lift your shirt and nurse discretely -worked better for me than any of the nursing tops I wasted money on and was always disappionted. Beware, not all belly bands are wide enough like these - the ones you can get at target the fabric is only perhaps 8 inches wide. It won't be wide enough to stay up over your belly as you get twin size. These you may have to fold over at first, but when you are the size of a beach ball, there is enough fabric to pull over it to stay up! Plus, there is a black and a white band so one or the other will go with almost any outfit. If you want a cream colored one too, you can get the 3 pack:<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=tandetwinn-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=B000OSCH86&nou=1&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;"></iframe><br />
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Sony Alpha DSLRA300X 10.2MP Digital SLR Camera with Super SteadyShot Image Stabilization with DT 18-70mm f/3.5-5.6 & DT 55-200mm f/4-5.6 Zoom Lenses <br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=tandetwinn-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=B00138R12I&nou=1&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;"></iframe><br />
Not a necessity, but I'm SO glad we upgraded to a DSLR. This camera snaps photos the instant I push the button AND focuses well on moving objects (2 features that are critical if you want a decent snapshot of your kids!) And that's still using the preview screen. It isn't a Rebel, but it works great for us, the batteries last and this one comes with a good basic lens and a telephoto lens. I wish I had had it about 3 years sooner!<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="color: purple;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><b>For maintaining your Sanity</b></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">Battery operated tap on light</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"><iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?lt1=_blank&bc1=000000&IS2=1&nou=1&bg1=FFFFFF&fc1=000000&lc1=0000FF&t=tandetwinn-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&m=amazon&f=ifr&ref=tf_til&asins=B00176CX92" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;"></iframe><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"> Put this up by the changing table so you can avoid turning on the bright lights. Turning on the bright light only interrupts your (and baby’s) circadian rhythms and makes it harder for you and baby to get back to sleep. Make sure you get some AA batteries!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
Mesh Lingerie Wash Bag</span><br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=tandetwinn-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=B0001E83AE&nou=1&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;"></iframe><br />
No – this isn’t for your un-mentionables, as you will probably be washing those less often in the days to come! Instead, hang a lingerie bag on the hamper for all those little sox and booties and mitts, etc. It will pay for itself because you won't be paying to replace all the lost sox and bitty pieces!<br />
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Ocean Waves CD (no music) <br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=tandetwinn-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=B0002ABOPS&nou=1&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;"></iframe><br />
White noise is soothing for babies...reminding them of the womb. But white noise is annoying to most adults! These pleasant ocean waves are familiar sound to baby who is used to hearing the ebb and flow of her mother's body sounds and is super relaxing - even for mom and dad! This may be the one thing that I could absolutely have not gone without. <br />
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The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night by Elizabeth Pantley<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=tandetwinn-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=0071381392&nou=1&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;"></iframe><br />
Read this before babies arrive to help prevent sleep problems that are preventable,and it's easier to get reading done before babies arrive anyway and you'll have alot of time in waiting rooms for your prenatal appointments and non-stress tests!<br />
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Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby by Melinda Blau<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=tandetwinn-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=0345479092&nou=1&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;"></iframe><br />
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Awesome book for first time parents. I wish I had read it BEFORE my first set of twins, as I could have avoided many difficulties. If you read it BEFORE your babies arrive, you will absorb it much better as you won't be half asleep! There is not much twin-specific advice, but I consider it a must-read for all first time parents- twins or not.<br />
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<span style="color: purple;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><b>For Breastfeeding Mamas:</b></span></span></span><br />
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Nursing Pillows<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=tandetwinn-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=B001GIOPH4&nou=1&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;"></iframe><br />
I had success tandem nursing with a Boppy as long as I was in my over-stuffed chair. It is also nice when baby is learning to sit up as she can sit in the middle and you don't need to worry about bonkin' her noggin' if she tips over! I used blankets with the boppy to add support where needed when tandem nursing. Wait to see if boppy works for you, if not, then drop the money on an EZ 2 nurse twins pillow.<br />
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I actually tried the EZ 2 nurse pillow and had terrible luck with it. It was too bulky to fit in my easy chair, yet if I sat on the couch with it in my lap, it wasn't large enough to be the right height for the babies to latch on, so I needed a million pillows under it, which made it unstable and I couldn't bend over to lift the babies up on to it anyway. A total waste for me, though I know others who have loved theirs. Here's the link if you are interested:<br />
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<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=tandetwinn-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=B003L2HL0G&nou=1&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;"></iframe><br />
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The Nursing Mother's Companion: Revised Edition by Kathleen Huggins<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=tandetwinn-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=1558327207&nou=1&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;"></iframe><br />
This is a great general resource for breastfeeding! I referred to it while nursing both my older and younger set of twins. As for nursing twins specifically, I guess I should write my own book about that...maybe someday. Still have to get that up as blog posts! Sorry I don't have any book recommendations on multiples in general. The books I did read on multiples were highly focused on medical phenomena and not practical life.<br />
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Soothies® by Lansinoh® Gel Pads<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=tandetwinn-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=B002KGHUL4&nou=1&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;"></iframe><br />
Do you really need it: Oh yes,you will want these if you are breastfeeding!<br />
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<span style="color: purple;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><b>For </b><b>Babies' Care:</b></span></span></span><br />
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A+D Original Ointment, Diaper Rash and All-Purpose Skincare Formula 4 oz (113 g) by A+D <br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=tandetwinn-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=B004NYMQ88&nou=1&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;"></iframe><br />
You might as well buy in bulk...<br />
This is great everyday ointment to prevent rashes. Also, when baby is a bit chapped, I apply it underneath any zinc-oxide (white) cream as many of the white creams sting chaffed skin<br />
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Baby Bottle+Dish Liquid 16.90 Ounces by Dapple<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=tandetwinn-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=B001715S5I&nou=1&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;"></iframe><br />
Great soap for washing baby bottles! They don't get clean enough in my dishwasher, so we wash by hand. This soap helps get the grime off and it doesn't contain Sodium Laureth Sulfate and several other chemicals like most dish soaps! There is also a 34 oz refill for only about $16<br />
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Burt's Bees Baby Products<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=tandetwinn-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=B002DMK0MQ&nou=1&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;"></iframe><br />
Burt's Bees has great brand promise that guarantees no harsh or potentially dangerous chemicals, "made from ingredients like buttermilk, apricot oil and cornstarch to cleanse, soften and protect baby's precious skin, safely and naturally. As always, they are SLS-, phthalate- and paraben-free." They are less expensive than organic products out there. I think it is the best value in natural baby products out there. This basket has samples of all the Burt's Bees Baby products, and free super saver shipping - woo hoo!<br />
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Folgers Brazilian Blend Ground Coffee, 27.8-Ounce Tubs (Pack of 2)<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=tandetwinn-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=B0026YDOYM&nou=1&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;"></iframe><br />
Sure you’ll you need some caffeine, but this container tub is PERFECT for home made baby wipes!<br />
Here'sthe recipe for how to make your own baby wipes:<br />
Cut VIVA select a size paper towels in half (use a freshly-sharpened non-serrated knife)and put in empty coffee container (clean with baking soda to get out the smell). Cut cardboard tube with scissors and pull it out. <br />
In bowl, whisk 3 cups warm water, 1-2 Tablespoons aloe, 1-2 tablespoons of your favorite scented baby oil, and 10 drops of melaleuca oil (tea tree oil). (1 tablespoon baby wash is optional).<br />
Whisk and pour over paper towels. Put cover on container and turn up-side-down for several minutes. Pull first wipe from the middle of the roll. You can try cutting and 'x' shape hole in the cover but I didn't try this because I didn't want to ruin my container if it didn't work. It will keep for about 5 days, which is usually just long enough to use it up with twins.<br />
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Viva Choose-A-Size Paper Towels - 15 Big Rolls<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=tandetwinn-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=B001TDKYIA&nou=1&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;"></iframe><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"></span>Nannerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12549332286209169484noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6302583394075744068.post-3735339186545376842011-05-30T21:55:00.000-07:002011-07-12T23:00:03.186-07:00Mid Pregnancy Testing: Ultrasounds and Kick Counting<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwddVZzcS9UP0q8c_dhyphenhyphenioDRiaNi9fsyyh2BptkcAbs1h0xTk2SO1RASIfEwh9cHqyiR3G29Rdf31FmK19FSKh17ayL7tpHnZkSVXDowiUHyRJWGjFBrdYXLF81iWNk8mWkkKXBgieENA/s1600/Week+34.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwddVZzcS9UP0q8c_dhyphenhyphenioDRiaNi9fsyyh2BptkcAbs1h0xTk2SO1RASIfEwh9cHqyiR3G29Rdf31FmK19FSKh17ayL7tpHnZkSVXDowiUHyRJWGjFBrdYXLF81iWNk8mWkkKXBgieENA/s320/Week+34.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">34 Weeks<br />
193 pounds, Measuring 46 cm(Weeks)</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Everyone looks forward to the big Ultrasound day, getting to see your baby for the first time is exciting, though if you know you are having twins, this probably isn't your first ultrasound, and won't be your last!</span><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Level II Ultrasound (also known as a fetal anatomy survey or scan) </span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">This ultrasound is standard for all pregnancies (not just multiples). It is done when you are about 20 weeks along, but is usually repeated later in pregnancy if you are expecting multiples. </span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">My second level II ultrasounds were done around 30 weeks. This is done to assure that both babies are growing at a healthy rate and that intrauterine growth restriction, twin to twin transfusion syndrome (TTTS) or other complications are not affecting growth. With a singleton pregnancy, if mom’s belly is getting bigger, you can be quite assured that the baby is too. But with two inside, it is good to have more assurance that both babies are growing well and at a similar rate.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">This ultrasound is essentially your babies’ first physical exam. </span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">The technician will take time to measure several different parts of baby’s body, including baby’s ‘crown to rump’ length (it’s hard to measure a baby’s total height when she’s all squished up in there!), head circumference, length of arms and legs and even of her little foot (which is a great</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"> measurement to keep track of and note or draw if you keep a pregnancy journal!) I actually asked the technician to simply print the screen on which she tracked all of my babies' measurements. </span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Of course, you can learn the gender of your babies if you want, but be sure to let the technician know if you want to be surprised. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">The technician (or sonographer) will also ‘examine’ some of babies’ major organs – kidneys, heart and brain. They do this to the extent that they examine each heart chamber, and identify the sections of her brain. They also view and measure the stomach. Suffice it to say that if they don’t find anything unusual, you probably have some very healthy babies in your big belly.</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">If you see something you like, be sure to ask the technician to print a photo for you. Most technicians will give you a whole bunch of shots from the ultrasound, just be sure you check them before posting on your facebook profile as I found mine had my birth date, full name AND social security number embedded on them! So much for privacy…I wonder if they shred those when they are done?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Before your ultrasound, you may want to consider the following so you can be prepared. First, it takes about 45 minutes to do this detailed examination on just ONE baby. Add a second baby in there, and you could be in the ultrasound room for an hour and a half. Now consider that baby B will sometimes get in the way of a measurement they are trying to get on Baby A and now you could be in there for up to 2 hours! I recommend taking a potty break right before the exam (presuming you don’t need a full bladder as you do with earlier ultrasound exams). Also, you might bring a snack if it will be getting close to meal time.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><a href="http://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/pregnancy-health/prenatal-testing/ultrasound-anatomy-two.aspx">This site "What to Expect",</a> has some great info on ultrasounds and all pregnancy testing.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Kick Counts</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Your physician should recommend that you begin kick counts some later point in your pregnancy. If your physician does not tell you when to start, you may do it on your own anyway, there are no risks...other than that you might freak yourself out and have trouble sleeping if you tend to worry alot! I started kick counts around 30 weeks, but you can start as soon as you can reliably and daily feel your babies move, perhaps around 25 weeks. It is a very simple way to give you peace of mind that your babies are doing well!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Here’s how to do it. The guideline I was given was that I should feel 10 movements from each baby, within two hours. It is easiest to do this during your babies’ most active time of day. The ACOG recommends simply keeping track of each and every baby movement you feel from each baby, and when you get to 10, note how long it has been since you began for that baby. If it takes longer than 2 hours, try again later in the day. If you still cannot detect 10 movements in a 2 hour window all day, you should let your physician know because it may be a sign that one of your babies is in distress. <a href="http://www.americanpregnancy.org/duringpregnancy/kickcounts.htm">This is a great article about how to do kick counting.</a></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">The challenging part for us mothers of multiples of course, is deciding which baby kicked! I know with my first twins, I could tell with some movements that it was baby A or Baby B, but with others, I had no clue. Baby A was vertex (head down) with her feet up kicking my lungs. Baby B was transverse across the top, or sometimes she was laying transverse the other direction along the top, or sometimes was breech. But every time I had an ultrasound she was different. So I never fully knew if baby A was kicking her feet against my lungs or baby B was turned that way and had one of her little arms or legs there and was kicking her sister back. (Unfortunately, it was habit forming as they are still exhibiting this back and forth banter at six years of age!)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Reduced fetal activity is an indication that baby might be in distress and potentially not getting enough nutrients or oxygen. So if you notice one of your baby’s activity dropped suddenly one day such that you cannot detect the 10 movements in 2 hours, try again later in the day and contact your physician if you still cannot detect 10 movements in a 2 hour window. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Some women will say that they feel their babies move less as they get bigger. I agree that I felt less overall movement as the babies got bigger because there was probably less room to move in! But I personally think this is because the movements are just not as strong and pronounced and I just didn't notice them, even though they still happened about as often. I would say that you should pay really close attention to make sure you catch all the little flutters. But if you do notice a sudden change over a day or even a few days, you should probably call your physician - at least that is what I would have done. Bottom line is: if you don't count enough kicks in 2 hours, call your physician. She will be glad to put your mind at ease and </span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">you will feel better too. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></div>Nannerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12549332286209169484noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6302583394075744068.post-26584116826211062722011-05-06T02:11:00.000-07:002013-09-03T21:19:17.372-07:00Ready, Set, Breastfeed<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Getting ready to breastfeed two or more...</i></span><br />
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With all the benefits of breastfeeding, the majority of moms strive to nurse their babies at least for a few weeks, and some for much longer. While breastfeeding one baby has a steep learning curve and struggles, breastfeeding two or more rates just below Navy Seal training for intensity. The most common challenges of breastfeeding twins is related to the fact that many twins are slightly premature. Even a birth date at 35 weeks – which is only 1 week shy of what is considered ‘full term’ for twins - can affect a baby’s ability to nurse efficiently. And even breastfeeding healthy full-term twins brings a set of challenges that most moms and lactation consultants have never encountered.<br />
Honestly, I want to warn you that the greatest challenges of breastfeeding for me were not logistic, nor physical. They were mental – either self-imposed, or imposed under the pressure of a well-meaning but short-sighted lactation consultant or nurse.<br />
If you want to maximize your chances of success, and make the whole experience a lot easier on yourself, I recommend you invest some time researching and learning before babies arrive…finding time to read and comprehend a book while playing ‘Hot Potato’ with 2 crying newborns is simply not enjoyable or effective!<br />
If you can manage, put these on your to-do list: <br />
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1. Read (ok, at least skim) a good comprehensive book on breastfeeding like <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0761151133/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=tandetwinn-20&linkCode=as2&camp=217145&creative=399349&creativeASIN=0761151133">this one, The Complete Book of Breastfeeding.</a> <br />
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2. Find a breastfeeding 101 course at your hospital or Le Leche League. Nothing beats the getting the 411 in person from someone who knows what they are talking about!<br />
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3. Get the phone number of a lactation consultant from other moms you trust – make sure she doesn’t charge double for twins! (yes, this has happened to a poor twin mom whose insurance didn’t cover the visit. You really should not have to pay for 2 visits when they truly only have one house call to make!) Then, if you have difficulties, the hardest part is done - finding an expert to call - and all that’s left to do is pick up the phone!<br />
(If you want to be truly prepared, you should also call your insurance To find out if L.C. is covered. - Note sometimes it is only covered, or has less of a co-pay during your postpartum hospital stay, but not thereafter.)<br />
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4. Create a ‘nursing nest’. You will be spending a LOT of time nursing your little, uhhhh, nurslings. You might as well do it as comfortably as possible! If you have a rocking chair, glider or other comfy chair you plan to use, create an area that has everything you need to stay comfy. This means putting it in a place that makes the most sense for your lifestyle and schedule. Yes, instinctively you may want to place it in the babies’ room, but that may not be the best option depending on your family and preferences. For instance, since I had two older 3-year-olds, I put my nursing nest in the living room so I could watch and interact with my other kids and make sure they weren’t getting into trouble! Next to my chair, I put a TV tray that can house my laptop computer or a book or magazine. On the window sill of the other side of the chair, I put a small basket in which I could store all sorts of essentials – nipple cream, TV remote, an extra burp cloth, tissues, my breastfeeding reference book and my big kid’s favorite finger puppet. I also kept the Boppy leaning right next to the chair as well as my breast pump.<br />
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5. Buy 1 Nursing bra in advance. Get one that fits even while you are pregnant, but err on the large side as your bosom will soon have superhuman elastic capabilities ala <a href="http://www.kategodin.com/2010/04/the-invisible-woman/">Elastigirl</a>!<br />
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6. Get the gel pad ‘Soothies’ and a good nipple cream. I recommend <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000JVCBBG/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=tandetwinn-20&linkCode=as2&camp=217145&creative=399353&creativeASIN=B000JVCBBG">this all natural cocoa butter</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=tandetwinn-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B000JVCBBG&camp=217145&creative=399349" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=tandetwinn-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B000JVCBBG&camp=217145&creative=399357" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /> nipple cream. It is not sticky like the lanolin and it goes on gently even if you’re a bit chaffed.<br />
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7. Invest in a breast pump or plan to rent or borrow one. If you do borrow one, consider buying all new tubing for it online or at a baby superstore.<br />
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8. Get connected with a good twins club/ moms club in your area. You will no doubt have questions or need input that is best found from other mothers of twins who have recently been in your shoes. If you can’t find a local club, join an online social network for twin moms. Some examples are <a href="https://www.bigtent.com/groups/twiniversity">Twinversity </a>or the <a href="http://community.babycenter.com/groups/a20785/got_twins">Got Twins?</a> group at <a href="http://babycenter.com/">www.babycenter.com</a>. They are usually free of charge and full of compassionate women who have some wisdom to share.Nannerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12549332286209169484noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6302583394075744068.post-44137104384114801492011-05-06T01:21:00.000-07:002011-05-06T01:21:44.499-07:00I break for Highschool MusicalsSorry for the long absence! I had a blast doing choreography for a High School Showing of "Guys 'n Dolls". When I get it up on youtube, I'll post a link here. Working with kids who don't have to be reminded to use the potty is such an appreciated change of pace!<br />
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Now for catching up on here!Nannerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12549332286209169484noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6302583394075744068.post-62767770530365435412011-03-25T00:58:00.000-07:002011-07-12T22:57:27.397-07:00Twin Sleeping Arrangements<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCZO9D4NevGzVetSpqyDxHS348tWVBQrTrx-WLnkx_UwHSIY2dVtrSuB5fl_7LP9svuTMR9A9fMV-k6qGVOyEooR6j_zn4huGef9ehC1I1uqSuNEKTJtJ1-EsBcyff7viXzzNExQLYr50/s1600/Week32.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCZO9D4NevGzVetSpqyDxHS348tWVBQrTrx-WLnkx_UwHSIY2dVtrSuB5fl_7LP9svuTMR9A9fMV-k6qGVOyEooR6j_zn4huGef9ehC1I1uqSuNEKTJtJ1-EsBcyff7viXzzNExQLYr50/s320/Week32.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">32 Weeks<br />
187 Pounds. Measuring 38cm (weeks).</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Some parents ask if they need to get 2 cribs. The surprising answer is ‘no’. There are several alternative possibilities. One is that you could use <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001GQ2PLE/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=tandetwinn-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B001GQ2PLE">Pack N Plays</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=tandetwinn-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B001GQ2PLE" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" /> as cribs instead. In fact, it has several advantages. They are smaller and hence fit more easily into a small room. Also, they are portable! Making it easy to move one crib to a separate room, which is very good if they wake each other up at night. If you travel pack and plays fold up nicely and many even have a carrying handle making it easy to throw in your trunk or back seat or even check on the airline.<br />
Another option for some parents is co-sleeping. I once heard a mom comment that when she had her twins (a surprise pregnancy after several other children) that she wasn’t even going to buy cribs because they would sleep in her bed like her other children did. If that’s your thing, I say go for it. But as a mom who co-slept with my second set of twins whenever they needed it, I have just a few words of experience. First, sleeping with one baby is nice. You know right where she is (which in our case was between me and the mesh bed rail). When she wakes to nurse, you are right there for her and can snooze a little yourself. And she doesn’t take up much space even in a smaller bed. <br />
The whole game changes a little when you are sleeping with 2 babies. You have to decide where the 2 will sleep…both between mom and the bed rail, or one between mom and dad. When they wake up, you can nurse one, and when the other one wakes too, you can sit up and make a pillow fort to tandem nurse them, but you certainly can’t snooze while nursing 2 babies at once in bed (if you can, please explain it to me in the comments because I’ve been trying to figure this out for 5 years and 2 sets of twins!) Also, they take up space, and when both my babies were in bed with me, I had trouble finding the space to roll over to nurse when the other awoke, much less had space to sleep comfortably as the babies’ tendency is to squirm closer and closer to you throughout the night! Those were the mornings that my back ached from sleeping on my back or on the same side all night.<br />
That said, if you are a sleep-with-your-baby all the time mom, you might consider at least getting a pack and play or co-sleeper to keep in your room. As a side note, there is a weight limit on most pack and plays, but note that the weight limit for them using the bassinet inserts is much less than the weight limit using them as cribs. I separated both my twins during nap time and the oldest slept in a pack and play at naptime until she was almost 3 years old, and I’m guessing about 40 pounds, which I think is probably above the official weight limit.Nannerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12549332286209169484noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6302583394075744068.post-22478275622006179312011-03-14T21:42:00.000-07:002011-05-09T01:05:02.086-07:00Preparing your Home for Babies<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLcljsMK1obKqlqB6Y67gVnXIrcWKs2E5anZluI8LW7TfG2wgd1aZr0qQl-IHjl7NDkfdizvJV8alwUU2bQ0G867-c4PS0HrBAPyAWbycESSZhnxMH5rSwngPNo_EXAWBzOotZE1kC2KQ/s1600/DSC00509.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLcljsMK1obKqlqB6Y67gVnXIrcWKs2E5anZluI8LW7TfG2wgd1aZr0qQl-IHjl7NDkfdizvJV8alwUU2bQ0G867-c4PS0HrBAPyAWbycESSZhnxMH5rSwngPNo_EXAWBzOotZE1kC2KQ/s320/DSC00509.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>This is one of the really fun aspects of becoming a mommy and daddy. Preparing your home is a fun way to anticipate your coming bundles of joy. But rather than just glancing through the latest Pottery Barn Baby catalog and needing your jaw re-aligned after seeing the price tags, here are some other things to think about. <br />
You probably have already scoped out a room or space in your home for babies. We had two bedrooms in addition to our own and chose the one that shared a common wall with us, ensuring that we would hear any beckoning calls, even if our bedroom doors got shut. It also faced west, so it would be getting evening sun, instead of morning sun – which as night owls, was a significant factor for us! You might also consider other environmental factors like noise - the sump pump right below a room that runs 3 times a day in spring, or the neighbor's loud motorcycle that he revs at 6 am every nice summer morning, or how that corner room doesn't stay very warm in winter.<br />
The problem we faced is that the best location was the smallest room and we weren’t sure how everything was going to fit! Two cribs, a dresser, changing table, nursing chair, clothes hamper, diaper pail, lamp, and toys…all in 10 x 13 foot room! For that, Mr. Geek (DH) made a diagram on graph paper and actually cut out little models of all the furniture we had to fit! It actually worked out quite well.<br />
We decided that though we would have 2 cribs, we would only set one up at first; it gave the room a little more ‘breathing space’. For our younger twins, we did use a crib separator (essentially 6 inch square strip of foam covered in cloth) which helped keep them from kicking one another for a little longer, maybe an extra month is all. They slept together in the one crib until around 5 or 6 months before they began to roll all over one another despite my best efforts.<br />
We forwent a changing table in favor of a dresser, because we needed the clothing storage space and because the dresser doubles as a changing table by just putting the <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001U9OUYC/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=tandetwinn-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B001U9OUYC">contoured changing pad</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=tandetwinn-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B001U9OUYC" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" /> on top of it. We hung wall-mounted baskets above it to house diapers, wipes, creams and other supplies. Instead of a diaper Genie or similar expensive diaper disposal system, we opted for a plain foot-pedal operated can. I found that the diaper disposal systems often required 2 hands to operate (something I don't usually have - especially while changing a diaper) and that they required specially-designed refill bags that are not cheap. And with 2 babies, we figured we would be emptying the can often enough to keep the smell at bay. Sure it smells when you open it, but only for a millisecond, not enough to permeate the room!<br />
We also hung a battery-operated ‘tap light’ next to the changing area. This was great because it cut down the need to turn on the bright lamp in the middle of the night, which can of course signal to an infant is that it is morning and time to wake up! I recommend putting the light to the right of the changing tale (if you are right handed) so that it shines toward babies’ bottom and not in her eyes!<br />
Also handy were a <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000NPOMO2/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=tandetwinn-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B000NPOMO2">set of TV trays</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=tandetwinn-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B000NPOMO2" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" /> which were small enough to fit in most any cranny and provide flat space for wipes and supplies, Kleenex and reading material next to my nursing chair.<br />
We bought a <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002L3TTAG/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=tandetwinn-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B002L3TTAG">clothing hamper</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=tandetwinn-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B002L3TTAG" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" /> for the room and a nice floor lamp (since there were no overhead lights in the room, it needed that anyway). I also got a <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0001E83AE/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=tandetwinn-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B0001E83AE">mesh lingerie wash bag</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=tandetwinn-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B0001E83AE" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" /> to hang on a corner of the hamper for baby sox and mitts. It helps keep all the pairs together!<br />
In the closet, we assembled a <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000789RSQ/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=tandetwinn-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B000789RSQ">cube storage system</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=tandetwinn-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B000789RSQ" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" /> of metal mesh panels that I had from my college days. It was perfect for tucking boxes and baskets of toys, books, shoes, socks and other clothing and supplies. You could also use <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0002I261Q/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=tandetwinn-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B0002I261Q">something like this</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=tandetwinn-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B0002I261Q" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" /> – which would be useful outside the closet when baby gets older.<br />
Though our living room and hall floors were laminate, the bedroom was carpeted, so baby would have plenty of soft, snugly area for playtime. But if your home is wall-to-wall hard wood floor or tile, you might consider ‘softening’ it up a bit. These <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000V9IB0G/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=tandetwinn-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B000V9IB0G">large foam floor tiles</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=tandetwinn-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B000V9IB0G" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" /><br />
can be arranged wall to wall for a pretty reasonable price. You can either leave them visible (<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002YQWKHE/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=tandetwinn-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B002YQWKHE">these have a nice natural wood appearance</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=tandetwinn-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B002YQWKHE" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" />), or buy a carpet remnant from your local home improvement store to lie on top. Just line the remnant up with one wall and cut it to size along the walls or edge of furniture and it will look just like wall to wall carpeting!<br />
For seating, we had a stuffed chair which was not too large and the perfect height for my short legs. The pattern was outdated and overbearing for a nursery, so I picked out some fabric and asked a friend make a cover for it. This was also great because the cover can easily be removed and thrown in the washing machine - which is priceless when your kid has the stomach flu! I also got a nursing stool, which was really helpful because having it under my feet raised up my knees so they were about the right height for supporting the babies’ heads on a boppy, enabling me to tandem nurse in football hold. Without the nursing stool, tandem nursing would have been quite difficult. Making a cover for the chair and buying a nursing stool was much less expensive than buying a rocker or glider…especially a Pottery Barn one!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5hfoN1LtRy2TuuDgodMT2HCN9kz-CAUnpHhXERiS1IAduMYiP9YFJm-F4PRlozM55lxmKOIcsMU3tc5RkwSRO_MpMh9rYln0UcHDkGBDQsuMtCZmGO4cYivN9x977yiME7h3QSYtCz5g/s1600/DSC00514.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5hfoN1LtRy2TuuDgodMT2HCN9kz-CAUnpHhXERiS1IAduMYiP9YFJm-F4PRlozM55lxmKOIcsMU3tc5RkwSRO_MpMh9rYln0UcHDkGBDQsuMtCZmGO4cYivN9x977yiME7h3QSYtCz5g/s320/DSC00514.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>For the one window in the room, we bought a <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002PMDF4E/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=tandetwinn-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B002PMDF4E">blackout roller shade.</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=tandetwinn-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B002PMDF4E" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" /> Anything to help babies sleep during daylight hours.<br />
Some people choose to get a co-sleeper or bassinet to place in their own bedroom. I did debate on doing this, but the babies’ room was so close to our own I decided it wasn’t necessary and that they could sleep in the pack ‘n play in our room any time I wanted. For our second set of twins though, I did end up buying a <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002X7A008/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=tandetwinn-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B002X7A008">guard rail</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=tandetwinn-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B002X7A008" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" /> for the edge of my bed, deciding that if I wanted them close to me, I would just bring them to bed with me – which worked very well for us, in fact I wish I had done it with my first set of twins as we would have gotten much more sleep! For more on sleeping arrangements, check out this post.<br />
I think in total, we spent less than $1000 for furniture and everything in the nursery, which we thought was pretty good for a nicely furnished room. We did have help though because the bedding and several decorations were given as gifts and we were really fortunate to find matching cribs being sold as floor models at a local children’s furnishing store that was going out of business.<br />
You could always buy used and find other ways of saving money too. Mothers of multiples clubs often have huge sales of their members’ baby items that can be tremendously helpful (and are very helpful even if you don't plan on buying used!). If you are interested in saving money, do your best to find similar bargains locally and online with websites like Craigslist or ebay local.<br />
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<noscript>&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;span style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%; -moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-origin: padding; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous;" class="goog-spellcheck-word"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;lt&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/span&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;span style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%; -moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-origin: padding; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous;" class="goog-spellcheck-word"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/span&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt; /&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt; &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;span style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%; -moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-origin: padding; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous;" class="goog-spellcheck-word"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;lt&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/span&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;span style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%; -moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-origin: padding; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous;" class="goog-spellcheck-word"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;img&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/span&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt; &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;span style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%; -moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-origin: padding; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous;" class="goog-spellcheck-word"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;src&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/span&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/s/&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;span style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%; -moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-origin: padding; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous;" class="goog-spellcheck-word"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;noscript&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/span&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;?tag=&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;span style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%; -moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-origin: padding; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous;" class="goog-spellcheck-word"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;tandetwinn&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/span&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;-20" alt="" /&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;span style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%; -moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-origin: padding; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous;" class="goog-spellcheck-word"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;lt&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/span&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;span style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%; -moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-origin: padding; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous;" class="goog-spellcheck-word"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/span&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt; /&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt; </noscript>Nannerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12549332286209169484noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6302583394075744068.post-12704509721293513452011-02-28T23:37:00.000-08:002011-05-09T01:05:39.034-07:00Life in the Sick LaneJust wanted to throw out a feeble excuse and half-hearted apology for taking the last few weeks off as 'sick time'. This certainly has been a bummer of a winter in our house! I was at the pediatrician's door 3 times last week for 2 different ear infections and again for a really bad cough and congestion. And that was just the kids! I've shaken the flu and was hardly able to stay awake long enough to brush my teeth before crashing for over a week! (and I am obsessive about brushing my teeth). Did I mention that my youngest are getting their two-year molars too? Yes the last few weeks have been one big um-ya-ya cough, cry, sneeze and sniffle fest on the couch while watching <a href="http://www.blogger.com/%3Ca%20href=%22http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000SFOYE0?ie=UTF8&tag=tandetwinn-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B000SFOYE0%22%3EWiggles%20Safari%3C/a%3E%3Cimg%20src=%22http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=tandetwinn-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B000SFOYE0%22%20width=%221%22%20height=%221%22%20border=%220%22%20alt=%22%22%20style=%22border:none%20%21important;%20margin:0px%20%21important;%22%20/%3E">Wiggles Jungle Safari </a>with Steve Earl for the 100th time. It's a good think I love that show and love the Croc Hunter. It does bring a tear to my eye seeing him with his wife and little girl on that show. <br />
<br />
So here's to our health and yours, and hopefully to some more blog posts in the coming weeks!<br />
PS – more belly photos are forthcoming…we’re having some technical difficulty (yes, even with Mr. Geek on the job). He’s been so busy helping me with runny noses that even keeping up on technology has been a challenge lately!Nannerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12549332286209169484noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6302583394075744068.post-91901327374563083882011-02-28T22:45:00.000-08:002011-05-09T01:06:29.120-07:00When the time is right: Getting ready for Babies!One question that some couples ponder is whether they should set up the nursery and buy all the furnishings sooner or later in pregnancy. Some are tentative to do so early in pregnancy for fear that something should go terribly wrong and they would have to face a fully furnished nursery where such is no longer needed. On the other hand, if you wait until late in the pregnancy, you are more likely to be on bed rest or simply too tired and uncomfortable to help in putting everything together. There is also the possibility that you wait so long that you will be trying to get everything put together in time for the babies to come home from the hospital! Another less-than-ideal situation.<br />
It is a personal decision. But for us, it was a no-brainer – only partly because we never dwelt on the things that could go wrong nor anticipated them. We bought our cribs early on simply because it was opportune to find them at a going-out-of-business sale. We had no choice in much of the matter because a friend of mine was staying in the room until I was about 30 weeks. We had a lot of fun, and she helped me paint the room while she was living there. As soon as she moved out we were working full-bore to put up cribs and furniture and wash bedding and clothing and get it ready. Being 30-34 weeks at the time, that was no fun task and thankfully I was never put on bed rest. If we had the opportunity, I think we would have started much sooner, perhaps around 25 weeks. I think this is a good time because once in the 27-30 week range, it is a common time to be put on bed rest. <br />
The same principle applies when considering baby shower dates – early is good! Don’t plan a baby shower for when you are 34 weeks along! You won’t be comfortable and there is a good chance you won’t be able to attend your own shower because you’ll be on bed rest, or already have babies!<br />
If you are like me, packing your bag for the hospital is another event that you will probably procrastinate on until the day you are flying down the freeway to the Birth Center! Packing for the hospital was a process for me. I think I started haphazardly packing things that I wouldn’t want to live without in a bag around 28 weeks. These were only items I would likely otherwise forget if I were packing in a hurry though. As the weeks went on, my packing became more thorough as I added items to the bag and finally considered it complete around week 34. Then, when my induction was finally scheduled I went and threw in a bunch more items! Of course, for my second pregnancy – after having one full-term twin pregnancy that was induced at 39 weeks – I don’t think I started packing anything until 34 weeks! Despite my own habits, I again urge you that sooner is better though!<br />
That said, do what is best for your own sanity. I’m simply giving you food for thought.Nannerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12549332286209169484noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6302583394075744068.post-43285604403205528292011-02-05T01:35:00.000-08:002011-05-24T21:34:33.484-07:00Preparing for Birth: Birthing Classes<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgizkw5PKFM5Gs4hgr_wNWHxAh0VVy70628pYykbGgdLw9ZsLoVZFOSI3bOD_vK9loKKZg7rCviToyNLfa6LGzVs5EPiwNg7LwaPTZSPXpe2bveFcHlZkch_PetVjzmgbUg3fVizJXFvfU/s1600/Week+30+with+twins.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgizkw5PKFM5Gs4hgr_wNWHxAh0VVy70628pYykbGgdLw9ZsLoVZFOSI3bOD_vK9loKKZg7rCviToyNLfa6LGzVs5EPiwNg7LwaPTZSPXpe2bveFcHlZkch_PetVjzmgbUg3fVizJXFvfU/s400/Week+30+with+twins.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">30 Weeks with Twins<br />
184 pounds - Measuring 41.5 Weeks</td></tr>
</tbody></table>I remember enjoying the drive ‘downtown’ and eagerly anticipating what we would be learning that night in our ‘Multiples’ birthing class. Somehow, each night, I was disappointed – yes, about having to pay for parking – but more so because I was hoping that we would cover more in class the next time. Not that the class was terrible, it covered the basics – options for pain relief, the basic stages of labor, a few laboring positions, maybe more, but I certainly can’t recall much more, except for what was thinly-veiled propaganda to make you an easier-to-manage patient.<br />
What I do recall is being shown the operating room where even M.O.M.s delivering vaginally were to give birth - and then quickly realizing any notions I had about stretching, changing positions and choosing a productive pushing position flew quickly out the door. I remember being told by the instructor that I should find a new physician because my family practitioner would never be competent enough to manage a twin pregnancy. (When I asked one of the Perinatologists she coordinated with about this, he laughed and said my doc could hold her own! Too bad I lost about 2 weeks-worth of sleep before I had that appointment!) <br />
I also remember being told I could not have a doula because the delivery room 'would already be too crowded' – another falsehood.<br />
But, I still recommend you take a hospital birthing class, for all the wrong reasons! If nothing else, you learn the basics and what to expect from the hospital and its staff. It gives you a hint on what you want to be clear about in your birth plan, what to ask your doctor special permission for and what you should prepare to accept if you must.<br />
If you are the woman that wants to get an epidural the minute you get your hospital gown on, the woman who doesn’t care how it happens but just wants the baby out, then read no further. Take the hospital class, and follow doctor’s orders. <br />
But if you are looking for ideas and methods on how to manage labor pain without drugs, how to increase the possibility of vaginal delivery, how to help your labor progressing and avoid failure to progress, you should take a birthing class in addition to the hospital class that provides more focus on this. There are many types of these methods, I’m sure you’ve heard of some of them like the <a href="http://www.bradleybirth.com/">Bradley method</a>, <a href="http://www.hypnobirthing.com/">HypnoBirthing</a>, or <a href="http://www.lamaze.org/">Lamaze</a> or ANYTHING that you think will help you. I’ve put links on the names to help your research. <br />
I did not take any of these classes – mostly because I was largely ignorant of them going in to this whole experience. But I was fortunate enough to take maternity yoga classes from an instructor who was our doula. Please understand, the only yoga class I had ever taken previous to my pregnancy was once on vacation. I did it because appreciated the stretching and strength training it provided, just as I enjoyed dancing and theater in a former life! <br />
I met our doula through an organization called <a href="http://www.childbirthcollective.org/index.php">'The Childbirth Collective’</a> which is basically an group of doulas, lactation consultants and other birth & baby-related service providers in my area. The organization offers free info sessions on various topics surrounding pregnancy, childbirth and infant care. That is where our more comprehensive birthing education took place. After our first twins’ birth, our doula started an awesome business which I am totally going to plug here called <a href="http://www.blooma.com/">Blooma</a>. They offer a huge variety of, yoga classes, birthing technique classes, services, and ‘therapeutic services’ (ie.-massage) for expectant mothers. Look for such an organization in your area.<br />
The yoga classes really helped me – especially with the yoga instructor there talking me through what we learned in class. I honestly cannot remember specific techniques anymore, but I do remember focusing on what she was saying seemed to take me away from the agony of the moment…even if I did end up asking for an epidural while hyperventilating in a bathtub! It got me through a completely induced, horrifically painful labor to 7cm - far enough to be assured that I wasn’t going to have a C section for failure to progress – which is a high risk for induced mamas!<br />
You would think that I took a great birthing class in some technique for my second pregnancy, but sadly, no. My baby A had been breech until 36 weeks, so I was too afraid, and frankly, depressed that I would be having a surgical birth. Finally, when baby flipped, I flipped too! Mr. Geek and I immediately went in to Blooma for an emergency last-minute birthing basics refresher course! <br />
Should we ever come across the need for anticipating giving birth again, I will do a better job of researching and taking a birthing class ahead of time, breech or vertex!Nannerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12549332286209169484noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6302583394075744068.post-43386483450774466762011-01-28T00:06:00.000-08:002011-05-24T21:54:18.051-07:00What you need to know about Premature Labor<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">If there is one thing I remember about my prenatal visits, it is the little blurb my doctor had memorized verbatim about preterm labor. “Ok remember lots of rest, lots of water, stay off your feet, take a half hour break every day lay on your left side and if you feel cramping, tightening, pressure or have any bleeding or other unusual symptoms give me a call.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">That about sums it up folks…see you next week! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Seriously though, the question is, how important is each of these things and how do I implement them into my life? After all, when my left hip gets all knotted up from laying on my left side, all night, am I going to smush my baby by turning onto my right? Or, heaven forbid, my back?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="line-height: 115%;">Drinking Enough Water</span></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">There is debate whether ample hydration can actually prevent pre-term labor or not. However, I think your body works better when it is well-hydrated, and it also seems (and this just from my personal experience and that of other M.O.M.s) that you are more likely to have contractions in the latter half of pregnancy when you are dehydrated. In fact, the common wisdom to stop recurring contractions is to drink a big cup of water, go pee, and lay down on your left side to relax. I did this only once or twice but it worked! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">In general, your body functions optimally when it is well-hydrated, and keeping your body in tip-top shape (operationally) should be your prime directive. Of course, water is the obvious choice for hydration. While low in salt, sugar, fat and just about everything else it does a great job of quenching thirst. For some, the water supply is not palatable. I know from experience that I would fill 2 huge bottles from my home to bring to work because I didn’t like the taste of the water at my work and would not drink as much as I needed, even though I was thirsty. So I started filling up at home. Do what you need to keep yourself drinking enough fluid. If it means finding a bubbly, flavored or otherwise enhanced beverage, go ahead. Just try to stay away from caffeine and artificial sweeteners in large quantities! Translation – 8 glasses of diet Coke a day is not a wise choice for fulfilling your babies’ fluid needs!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Keep a bottle with you at all times so that you don’t have to excuse yourself from any situation to take a swig. Realize the importance of stopping for a moment and listening to your body. If you don’t take a moment here and there to notice if your mouth is a bit dry, you won’t drink enough because you’ll be too busy to realize you are thirsty.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Take note how many times a day you refill your bottle. That should give you a rough estimate. I’m not a proponent of giving you a number of glasses you MUST consume because I think you should follow your thirst as a guide. But, eight 16-ounce glasses a day is probably the minimum amount of fluid you need – and probably more. Be assured that milk and other beverages and even fluid from foods count toward your total too. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">I know it is tempting to cut back because of fear of all the bathroom trips, but consider this: Especially early in pregnancy, the trips to the bathroom are more a factor of pregnancy hormones and other adjutants like caffeine. Think of all the water that <i>won’t</i> be coming out…water that is needed to build blood, cells and amniotic fluid for your unborn babies!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="line-height: 115%;">Get Off Your Feet</span></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">This is a high order for many. So many people have jobs that require standing on your feet for several hours a day. Retail workers, teachers, manual labor jobs and especially you work-at-home mums. Truth is, you need to find a way to at least reduce the number of hours you spend on your feet per day. Why? Because standing puts the most weight and pressure directly on your cervix and because research has shown that those who spend more time on their feet are more likely to go into preterm labor than those who do not.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">There is good news. Most ‘standing’ jobs are actually able to be performed sitting down on a high stool. And if you live or work in the good ol’ U.S. of A., your employer is required to accommodate you in a reasonable way under the Americans with Disabilities Act. I know, you are not disabled, but you have special health needs, which counts. A reasonable accommodation would be to allow you to sit on a stool while ringing customers or teaching. If they cannot accommodate that, another option would be to temporarily re-assign you to a sitting task until after the babies arrive. Or even to assign your to a ‘sitting’ task for a few hours each day.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">For those who already sit long hours on the job, I recommend getting a nursing stool or other small box you can rest your feet on. This will keep you more comfortable and keep circulation at its prime because it takes the pressure off the blood vessels on the underside of your knees. It will also help prevent those pesky varicose veins that often show up during pregnancy. I’m glad to say I have none even after both my pregnancies! (All of the strain went to creating gray hairs in my case!)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">As for resting on your left side, because of the way your arteries lie, it is beneficial to your circulation, but not necessary. Laying on your right side is good too. And though some pregnancy literature warns of laying on your back, I was told at my doctor visits that it is only a problem if you start to have noticeable circulation trouble - dizziness, or light-headedness etc. Still, if I did lie on my back,but I did so slightly inclined on pillows.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">For us work-at-home moms, there simply is no ADA law telling your toddler that you will only feed and diaper her on a pre-determined schedule. </span><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">But there are plenty of ways you can short cut your load to promote the health and well being of those siblings on the way! The down side, is that you will need to either get other recruits to make up for your well-justified slacker status, or just deal with having a sub-standard cleanliness rating in your home. I recommend wearing slippers because the crumbs at least will not stick to your feet, and the Legos won’t hurt so much. Ten years from now, nobody will remember or care if your windows were washed or if the floor had streaks or if you had an entire basement full of 80’s memorabilia that needed sorting and labeling for your cool bar display or even if your toddler ate crackers off the un-mopped floor. </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Instead, lay back on the couch with your kids and read them a story, tell them about the babies growing inside your belly, watch a movie, start telling them about how you will be spending a lot of time with the babies when they come out because they are so little and need so much help. During my second pregnancy, I had a ritual. We would get through lunch time and I was just exhausted, so I would stick a movie in the DVD (yes, usually a full length one!) and just plop on the couch and snooze while my 3-year-olds watched. My doctor gave me full permission. And my children are not dumber for it, nor do they have vision problems or anything else – at least nothing different from before they got to watch a movie every day! Ladies, you need to give yourselves and your unborn children a break for their health. Recruit your husband or neighbors or family or the Jehovah's Witness folks who keep knocking at your door! Just find a way to do it, and don’t feel guilty about it.</span></div><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="line-height: 115%;">Recognizing Labor</span></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">My doctor consistently asked if I’d been having any contractions yet. I had no clue what a contraction even was or felt like, I didn’t know what I was looking (or feeling) for, so how would I know? The main point to remember is that contractions can be felt as a variety of sensations from tightening, to menstrual-like cramping, intestinal distress, dull aches, pain, pressure, heaviness, nausea or other unusual sensation. And it is not always felt in the abdomen, but could also be in your lower back, or in your pelvis or vagina. It may be rhythmic or persistent. Some women feel no pain or unusual sensations at all. It may just come to you as a panicky feeling, or a sense of unrest, or a gut feeling that something isn’t the same. Another hint could be a change in discharge, especially what is referred to as ‘bloody show’ (no this isn’t the newest U.K. reality show!) that may appear brown or blood streaked. If you are having unusually heavy watery-discharge, there is a chance that your membranes have ruptured and you are leaking amniotic fluid. In all of these situations, it is necessary to call your physician right away!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Ladies, if you are carrying multiples and you have any of these symptoms – including an inexplicable feeling of unrest or panic, or more than 5-6 contractions in an hour, please don’t worry about whether or not you should call someone. JUST CALL. Call your doctor, call a nurse line, call the labor and delivery ward –whichever you feel the most comfortable with - the chance of premature labor is NOTHING to mess around with. I know you may feel really silly calling the nurse line and saying you are having an inexplicable panicky feeling, but your instinct is usually right. Even if it isn’t, I guarantee the doctor or nurse won’t mind, and will just be relieved that it wasn’t a problem. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">The bottom line is that there is no way to ‘undo’ premature labor - defined as the softening, shortening and opening of your cervix in preparation for birth. And the longer you delay making the call, the shorter your cervix may get, the more likely you are to go past the point of no return.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">On the other hand it is completely normal to have occasional (read: irregular, not several occurring one after the other) contractions that feel like someone wrapped a wide elastic band around your middle section. They are commonly called 'Braxton Hicks' contractions. Yet, the only other difference between Braxton Hicks contraction and the real thing is that Braxton Hicks do not efface or dilate your cervix...and you wouldn't know that unless you CALL YOUR DOCTOR! (OK, you probably think I'm some sort of 'hyper-spaz' over this, but really, I've just seen too many forum posts from M.O.M.s who are almost in active labor because they totally ignored the contractions they were having for the last 2 days.)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">For a really great article on the symptoms of preterm labor, <a href="http://pregnancy.familyeducation.com/expecting-multiples/delivering-multiples/57005.html">click here.</a> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="line-height: 115%;">What Happens Next?</span></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">What happens after preterm labor begins depends on a variety of factors. At 37 weeks, twins are considered full term because they actually mature sooner than singletons. (For triplets, 34 weeks is the goal, and about 30 weeks for quads.) If you are between 34 and 36 weeks with twins when labor sets in, an admission to the birthing center and a congratulations are probably in order. Prior to that, you may be admitted for various drug therapies to stop the contractions. If they are successful in stopping the contractions, you may be able to go home and back to business as usual, or you may be asked to remain on bed rest. If you dilated significantly and are early in your pregnancy, you may be asked to remain on bed rest in the hospital. For a thorough article on what course of treatment may be selected for preterm labor, <a href="http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0CYD/is_3_40/ai_n11832099/">click here.</a></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Whether or not you experience contractions there is a possibility your water could break prematurely (Premature Rupture of the Membranes or PROM). In this case, it is more likely that your babies’ deliveries are imminent, though it is possible to delay labor by days or weeks. At around 34 weeks, the risks of uterine infection outweigh the risks from preterm birth, so beyond this time, it is likely physicians will not try to hinder your labor. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">But if you are not yet 34 weeks along, it is possible that your physician will use drug therapies to stop or delay labor and delivery long enough to </span><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">administer <a href="http://www.perinatology.com/protocols/Steroids.htm">corticosteroid therapy</a> (steroid shots for mom). The steroid shots speed the develo</span><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">pment of babies’ lungs, greatly reducing breathing problems when they are born (assuming that birth can be delayed for 1-2 days so the steroids can take effect). </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">If in fact you succeed in halting labor after your membranes have ruptured, the greatest risk in this scenario (besides pre-term delivery) is the risk of uterine infection. You would probably remain hospitalized under close monitoring during this time and may have antibiotic therapies.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Now, take a moment to step back into reality, take a swig of water and maybe a bite of chocolate, look down at your burgeoning belly and take a big sigh of relief that this is probably not going to happen to you. And even if it does, you now know what to expect and/or request of your medical care team!</span></div>Nannerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12549332286209169484noreply@blogger.com0