I wish I had known...

I recently saw a post online from a first-time mom expecting twins who simply asked "What do you wish you would have known?" The question really hit home for me, and is really the reason I started this blog. Here's my response:

There are so many things...I don't know where to start. Maybe that my back and hips would start aching at only 3 months and go downhill from there - until I discovered the joy of the chiropractor and massage. Maybe that my boobs would grow a cup size overnight when I was only 10 weeks pregnant while I was out of town and had no correctly-sized bras with. And that that would be the only place I would have permanent, noticeable stretch marks! And how about the new-found hormones that kept my DH and I busy at night (in a good way!)

Might have been good to know that I would really have to work hard to find physicians who knew how, and had experience delivering twins without doing a c-section regardless the presentation of baby B. Or that I would have to call around to find out if the hospital will let a doula in the delivery room because hospital educator and  nurse and charge nurse told me 'no doulas, no way'  while former patients with twins told me 'I had a doula and they didn't say no'. Or maybe that spell check doesn't recognize the word 'doula' - "what crunchy planet are you from anyway!?" I hated knowing that I would be restricted to laboring on my back on an operating table.


Or maybe I should have known that I would NOT need to go on bed rest and I would NOT have preemies and NOT need to spend time in the NICU and NOT have any big medical scares and actually be induced at 39 weeks, deliver vaginally and be able to breastfeed exclusively even for a year. (Praise God for all of that!)

Or maybe that it would be possible to reach almost 220 pounds and a 4 foot girth because I had more than 14 pounds of baby in me and that my belly would get really cold hanging out of my jacket in the -20 Minnesota February.Or how about that dandelion root extract is a miracle cure for PUPPS (itchy belly rash) which perhaps was the worst of my week 36-39 misery....that would have been great to know because no physician could offer me help with that one. (would have been nice if I learned THAT before I delivered)

Or maybe that I should politely ask friends and family to not visit in the hospital or at their pleasure for the first few weeks b/c we were so exhausted and when they babies actually both slept, inevitably, someone had come to visit and was too busy chatting at us to realize we needed privacy and rest. (have a few hour 'open house' so whoever wants to come can get it out of their system).And also that if you ask for help, family and friends will graciously pitch in and save your mental health...providing you keep them moving in the right direction.

Or maybe to know that when babies cry all the time, that it isn't always just 'they way babies are'. And that there is actually a reason for it, but whether or not you can discover that reason and treat it is your job to discover because your pediatrician may not have the same ambition you do (after all, he isn't the one up all night) and brush you off as a freak-out new mom. (reflux, food sensitivities, sensory processing disorder, figured those out when they were older). Or that when they do cry and nursing them is the only way to get them to sleep, that if you take safety measures and let them sleep in your bed you won't have child protective services show up at your door, and in fact that you might get more sleep if you do this than stay up trying to rock/bounce/sooth a baby all night who just wants to nurse. Or that some babies are soooo stubborn and persistent that they will not go to sleep, no matter how long you let them scream.


And finally, would have been nice to know that even di/di girl twins could be identical, even if they look a little different. And even better to know that identical (mono-zygotic) twins may not just be a 'fluke' of nature, but there is actually research being done to determine if some moms and dads produce mono-zygotic offspring reliably. And even more so to know that when it happens all over again and you have yet another set of twins, it will be ok, everything you learned the first time will help you with every baby you welcome to your home and by the grace of God you might just survive it and might actually just love it.

Mid Pregnancy Testing: Ultrasounds and Kick Counting

34 Weeks
193 pounds, Measuring 46 cm(Weeks)

Everyone looks forward to the big Ultrasound day, getting to see your baby for the first time is exciting, though if you know you are having twins, this probably isn't your first ultrasound, and won't be your last!

Level II Ultrasound (also known as a fetal anatomy survey or scan)

This ultrasound is standard for all pregnancies (not just multiples). It is done when you are about 20 weeks along, but is usually repeated later in pregnancy if you are expecting multiples. My second level II ultrasounds were done around 30 weeks. This is done to assure that both babies are growing at a healthy rate and that intrauterine growth restriction, twin to twin transfusion syndrome (TTTS) or other complications are not affecting growth. With a singleton pregnancy, if mom’s belly is getting bigger, you can be quite assured that the baby is too. But with two inside, it is good to have more assurance that both babies are growing well and at a similar rate.
This ultrasound is essentially your babies’ first physical exam. The technician will take time to measure several different parts of baby’s body, including baby’s ‘crown to rump’ length (it’s hard to measure a baby’s total height when she’s all squished up in there!), head circumference, length of arms and legs and even of her little foot (which is a great measurement to keep track of and note or draw if you keep a pregnancy journal!) I actually asked the technician to simply print the screen on which she tracked all of my babies' measurements. Of course, you can learn the gender of your babies if you want, but be sure to let the technician know if you want to be surprised.

The technician (or sonographer) will also ‘examine’ some of babies’ major organs – kidneys, heart and brain. They do this to the extent that they examine each heart chamber, and identify the sections of her brain. They also view and measure the stomach. Suffice it to say that if they don’t find anything unusual, you probably have some very healthy babies in your big belly.

If you see something you like, be sure to ask the technician to print a photo for you. Most technicians will give you a whole bunch of shots from the ultrasound, just be sure you check them before posting on your facebook profile as I found mine had my birth date, full name AND social security number embedded on them! So much for privacy…I wonder if they shred those when they are done?

Before your ultrasound, you may want to consider the following so you can be prepared. First, it takes about 45 minutes to do this detailed examination on just ONE baby. Add a second baby in there, and you could be in the ultrasound room for an hour and a half. Now consider that baby B will sometimes get in the way of a measurement they are trying to get on Baby A and now you could be in there for up to 2 hours! I recommend taking a potty break right before the exam (presuming you don’t need a full bladder as you do with earlier ultrasound exams). Also, you might bring a snack if it will be getting close to meal time.
This site "What to Expect", has some great info on ultrasounds and all pregnancy testing.

Kick Counts

Your physician should recommend that you begin kick counts some later point in your pregnancy. If your physician does not tell you when to start, you may do it on your own anyway, there are no risks...other than that you might freak yourself out and have trouble sleeping if you tend to worry alot! I started kick counts around 30 weeks, but you can start as soon as you can reliably and daily feel your babies move, perhaps around 25 weeks. It is a very simple way to give you peace of mind that your babies are doing well!

Here’s how to do it. The guideline I was given was that I should feel 10 movements from each baby, within two hours. It is easiest to do this during your babies’ most active time of day. The ACOG recommends simply keeping track of each and every baby movement you feel from each baby, and when you get to 10, note how long it has been since you began for that baby. If it takes longer than 2 hours, try again later in the day. If you still cannot detect 10 movements in a 2 hour window all day, you should let your physician know because it may be a sign that one of your babies is in distress. This is a great article about how to do kick counting.

The challenging part for us mothers of multiples of course, is deciding which baby kicked! I know with my first twins, I could tell with some movements that it was baby A or Baby B, but with others, I had no clue. Baby A was vertex (head down) with her feet up kicking my lungs. Baby B was transverse  across the top, or sometimes she was laying transverse the other direction along the top, or sometimes was breech. But every time I had an ultrasound she was different. So I never fully knew if baby A was kicking her feet against my lungs or baby B was turned that way and had one of her little arms or legs there and was kicking her sister back. (Unfortunately, it was habit forming as they are still exhibiting this back and forth banter at six years of age!)

Reduced fetal activity is an indication that baby might be in distress and potentially not getting enough nutrients or oxygen. So if you notice one of your baby’s activity dropped suddenly one day such that you cannot detect the 10 movements in 2 hours, try again later in the day and contact your physician if you still cannot detect 10 movements in a 2 hour window. 
Some women will say that they feel their babies move less as they get bigger. I agree that I felt less overall movement as the babies got bigger because there was probably less room to move in! But I personally think this is because the movements are just not as strong and pronounced and I just didn't notice them, even though they still happened about as often. I would say that you should pay really close attention to make sure you catch all the little flutters. But if you do notice a sudden change over a day or even a few days, you should probably call your physician - at least that is what I would have done. Bottom line is: if you don't count enough kicks in 2 hours, call your physician. She will be glad to put your mind at ease and you will feel better too.

Ready, Set, Breastfeed

Getting ready to breastfeed two or more...

With all the benefits of breastfeeding, the majority of moms strive to nurse their babies at least for a few weeks, and some for much longer. While breastfeeding one baby has a steep learning curve and struggles, breastfeeding two or more rates just below Navy Seal training for intensity. The most common challenges of breastfeeding twins is related to the fact that many twins are slightly premature.  Even a birth date at 35 weeks – which is only 1 week shy of what is considered ‘full term’ for twins - can affect a baby’s ability to nurse efficiently. And even breastfeeding healthy full-term twins brings a set of challenges that most moms and lactation consultants have never encountered.
Honestly, I want to warn you that the greatest challenges of breastfeeding for me were not logistic, nor physical. They were mental – either self-imposed, or imposed under the pressure of a well-meaning but short-sighted lactation consultant or nurse.
If you want to maximize your chances of success, and make the whole experience a lot easier on yourself, I recommend you invest some time researching and learning before babies arrive…finding time to read and comprehend a book while playing ‘Hot Potato’ with 2 crying newborns is simply not enjoyable or effective!
If you can manage, put these on your to-do list:
 
1. Read (ok, at least skim) a good comprehensive book on breastfeeding like this one, The Complete Book of Breastfeeding.


2. Find a breastfeeding 101 course at your hospital or Le Leche League. Nothing beats the getting the 411 in person from someone who knows what they are talking about!

3. Get the phone number of a lactation consultant from other moms you trust – make sure she doesn’t charge double for twins! (yes, this has happened to a poor twin mom whose insurance didn’t cover the visit. You really should not have to pay for 2 visits when they truly only have one house call to make!) Then, if you have difficulties, the hardest part is done - finding an expert to call - and all that’s left to do is pick up the phone!
(If you want to be truly prepared, you should also call your insurance To find out if L.C. is covered. - Note sometimes it is only covered, or has less of a co-pay during your postpartum hospital stay, but not thereafter.)

4. Create a ‘nursing nest’. You will be spending a LOT of time nursing your little, uhhhh, nurslings. You might as well do it as comfortably as possible! If you have a rocking chair, glider or other comfy chair you plan to use, create an area that has everything you need to stay comfy. This means putting it in a place that makes the most sense for your lifestyle and schedule. Yes, instinctively you may want to place it in the babies’ room, but that may not be the best option depending on your family and preferences. For instance, since I had two older 3-year-olds, I put my nursing nest in the living room so I could watch and interact with my other kids and make sure they weren’t getting into trouble! Next to my chair, I put a TV tray that can house my laptop computer or a book or magazine. On the window sill of the other side of the chair, I put a small basket in which I could store all sorts of essentials – nipple cream, TV remote, an extra burp cloth, tissues, my breastfeeding reference book and my big kid’s favorite finger puppet. I also kept the Boppy leaning right next to the chair as well as my breast pump.

5. Buy 1 Nursing bra in advance. Get one that fits even while you are pregnant, but err on the large side as your bosom will soon have superhuman elastic capabilities ala Elastigirl!

6. Get the gel pad ‘Soothies’ and a good nipple cream. I recommend this all natural cocoa butter nipple cream. It is not sticky like the lanolin and it goes on gently even if you’re a bit chaffed.

7. Invest in a breast pump or plan to rent or borrow one. If you do borrow one, consider buying all new tubing for it online or at a baby superstore.

8. Get connected with a good twins club/ moms club in your area. You will no doubt have questions or need input that is best found from other mothers of twins who have recently been in your shoes. If you can’t find a local club, join an online social network for twin moms. Some examples are Twinversity  or the Got Twins? group at www.babycenter.com. They are usually free of charge and full of compassionate women who have some wisdom to share.

Twin Sleeping Arrangements

32 Weeks
187 Pounds. Measuring 38cm (weeks).

Some parents ask if they need to get 2 cribs. The surprising answer is ‘no’. There are several alternative possibilities. One is that you could use Pack N Plays as cribs instead. In fact, it has several advantages. They are smaller and hence fit more easily into a small room. Also, they are portable! Making it easy to move one crib to a separate room, which is very good if they wake each other up at night. If you travel pack and plays fold up nicely and many even have a carrying handle making it easy to throw in your trunk or back seat or even check on the airline.
Another option for some parents is co-sleeping. I once heard a mom comment that when she had her twins (a surprise pregnancy after several other children) that she wasn’t even going to buy cribs because they would sleep in her bed like her other children did. If that’s your thing, I say go for it. But as a mom who co-slept with my second set of twins whenever they needed it, I have just a few words of experience. First, sleeping with one baby is nice. You know right where she is (which in our case was between me and the mesh bed rail). When she wakes to nurse, you are right there for her and can snooze a little yourself. And she doesn’t take up much space even in a smaller bed.
The whole game changes a little when you are sleeping with 2 babies. You have to decide where the 2 will sleep…both between mom and the bed rail, or one between mom and dad. When they wake up, you can nurse one, and when the other one wakes too, you can sit up and make a pillow fort to tandem nurse them, but you certainly can’t snooze while nursing 2 babies at once in bed (if you can, please explain it to me in the comments because I’ve been trying to figure this out for 5 years and 2 sets of twins!) Also, they take up space, and when both my babies were in bed with me, I had trouble finding the space to roll over to nurse when the other awoke, much less had space to sleep comfortably as the babies’ tendency is to squirm closer and closer to you throughout the night! Those were the mornings that my back ached from sleeping on my back or on the same side all night.
That said, if you are a sleep-with-your-baby all the time mom, you might consider at least getting a pack and play or co-sleeper to keep in your room. As a side note, there is a weight limit on most pack and plays, but note that the weight limit for them using the bassinet inserts is much less than the weight limit using them as cribs. I separated both my twins during nap time and the oldest slept in a pack and play at naptime until she was almost 3 years old, and I’m guessing about 40 pounds, which I think is probably above the official weight limit.

Preparing your Home for Babies

This is one of the really fun aspects of becoming a mommy and daddy. Preparing your home is a fun way to anticipate your coming bundles of joy. But rather than just glancing through the latest Pottery Barn Baby catalog and needing your jaw re-aligned after seeing the price tags, here are some other things to think about.
You probably have already scoped out a room or space in your home for babies. We had two bedrooms in addition to our own and chose the one that shared a common wall with us, ensuring that we would hear any beckoning calls, even if our bedroom doors got shut. It also faced west, so it would be getting evening sun, instead of morning sun – which as night owls, was a significant factor for us! You might also consider other environmental factors like noise - the sump pump right below a room that runs 3 times a day in spring, or the neighbor's loud motorcycle that he revs at 6 am every nice summer morning, or how that corner room doesn't stay very warm in winter.
The problem we faced is that the best location was the smallest room and we weren’t sure how everything was going to fit! Two cribs, a dresser, changing table, nursing chair, clothes hamper, diaper pail, lamp, and toys…all in 10 x 13 foot room!  For that, Mr. Geek (DH) made a diagram on graph paper and actually cut out little models of all the furniture we had to fit! It actually worked out quite well.
We decided that though we would have 2 cribs, we would only set one up at first; it gave the room a little more ‘breathing space’.  For our younger twins, we did use a crib separator (essentially 6 inch square strip of foam covered in cloth) which helped keep them from kicking one another for a little longer, maybe an extra month is all. They slept together in the one crib until around 5 or 6 months before they began to roll all over one another despite my best efforts.
We forwent a changing table in favor of a dresser, because we needed the clothing storage space and because the dresser doubles as a changing table by just putting the contoured changing pad on top of it. We hung wall-mounted baskets above it to house diapers, wipes, creams and other supplies. Instead of a diaper Genie or similar expensive diaper disposal system, we opted for a plain foot-pedal operated can. I found that the diaper disposal systems often required 2 hands to operate (something I don't usually have - especially while changing a diaper) and that they required specially-designed refill bags that are not cheap. And with 2 babies, we figured we would be emptying the can often enough to keep the smell at bay. Sure it smells when you open it, but only for a millisecond, not enough to permeate the room!
We also hung a battery-operated ‘tap light’ next to the changing area. This was great because it cut down the need to turn on the bright lamp in the middle of the night, which can of course signal to an infant is that it is morning and time to wake up! I recommend putting the light to the right of the changing tale (if you are right handed) so that it shines toward babies’ bottom and not in her eyes!
Also handy were a set of TV trays which were small enough to fit in most any cranny and provide flat space for wipes and supplies, Kleenex and reading material next to my nursing chair.
We bought a clothing hamper for the room and a nice floor lamp (since there were no overhead lights in the room, it needed that anyway). I also got a mesh lingerie wash bag to hang on a corner of the hamper for baby sox and mitts. It helps keep all the pairs together!
In the closet, we assembled a cube storage system of metal mesh panels that I had from my college days. It was perfect for tucking boxes and baskets of toys, books, shoes, socks and other clothing and supplies. You could also use something like this – which would be useful outside the closet when baby gets older.
Though our living room and hall floors were laminate, the bedroom was carpeted, so baby would have plenty of soft, snugly area for playtime. But if your home is wall-to-wall hard wood floor or tile, you might consider ‘softening’ it up a bit. These large foam floor tiles
can be arranged wall to wall for a pretty reasonable price. You can either leave them visible (these have a nice natural wood appearance), or buy a carpet remnant from your local home improvement store to lie on top. Just line the remnant up with one wall and cut it to size along the walls or edge of furniture and it will look just like wall to wall carpeting!
For seating, we had a stuffed chair which was not too large and the perfect height for my short legs. The pattern was outdated and overbearing for a nursery, so I picked out some fabric and asked a friend make a cover for it. This was also great because the cover can easily be removed and thrown in the washing machine - which is priceless when your kid has the stomach flu! I also got a nursing stool, which was really helpful because having it under my feet raised up my knees so they were about the right height for supporting the babies’ heads on a boppy, enabling me to tandem nurse in football hold. Without the nursing stool, tandem nursing would have been quite difficult. Making a cover for the chair and buying a nursing stool was much less expensive than buying a rocker or glider…especially a Pottery Barn one!

For the one window in the room, we bought a blackout roller shade. Anything to help babies sleep during daylight hours.
Some people choose to get a co-sleeper or bassinet to place in their own bedroom. I did debate on doing this, but the babies’ room was so close to our own I decided it wasn’t necessary and that they could sleep in the pack ‘n play in our room any time I wanted. For our second set of twins though, I did end up buying a guard rail for the edge of my bed, deciding that if I wanted them close to me, I would just bring them to bed with me – which worked very well for us, in fact I wish I had done it with my first set of twins as we would have gotten much more sleep! For more on sleeping arrangements, check out this post.
I think in total, we spent less than $1000 for furniture and everything in the nursery, which we thought was pretty good for a nicely furnished room. We did have help though because the bedding and several decorations were given as gifts and we were really fortunate to find matching cribs being sold as floor models at a local children’s furnishing store that was going out of business.
You could always buy used and find other ways of saving money too. Mothers of multiples clubs often have huge sales of their members’ baby items that can be tremendously helpful (and are very helpful even if you don't plan on buying used!). If you are interested in saving money, do your best to find similar bargains locally and online with websites like Craigslist or ebay local.

When the time is right: Getting ready for Babies!

One question that some couples ponder is whether they should set up the nursery and buy all the furnishings sooner or later in pregnancy. Some are tentative to do so early in pregnancy for fear that something should go terribly wrong and they would have to face a fully furnished nursery where such is no longer needed. On the other hand, if you wait until late in the pregnancy, you are more likely to be on bed rest or simply too tired and uncomfortable to help in putting everything together. There is also the possibility that you wait so long that you will be trying to get everything put together in time for the babies to come home from the hospital! Another less-than-ideal situation.
It is a personal decision. But for us, it was a no-brainer – only partly because we never dwelt on the things that could go wrong nor anticipated them. We bought our cribs early on simply because it was opportune to find them at a going-out-of-business sale. We had no choice in much of the matter because a friend of mine was staying in the room until I was about 30 weeks. We had a lot of fun, and she helped me paint the room while she was living there. As soon as she moved out we were working full-bore to put up cribs and furniture and wash bedding and clothing and get it ready. Being 30-34 weeks at the time, that was no fun task and thankfully I was never put on bed rest. If we had the opportunity, I think we would have started much sooner, perhaps around 25 weeks. I think this is a good time because once in the 27-30 week range, it is a common time to be put on bed rest.
The same principle applies when considering baby shower dates – early is good! Don’t plan a baby shower for when you are 34 weeks along! You won’t be comfortable and there is a good chance you won’t be able to attend your own shower because you’ll be on bed rest, or already have babies!
If you are like me, packing your bag for the hospital is another event that you will probably procrastinate on until the day you are flying down the freeway to the Birth Center! Packing for the hospital was a process for me. I think I started haphazardly packing things that I wouldn’t want to live without in a bag around 28 weeks. These were only items I would likely otherwise forget if I were packing in a hurry though. As the weeks went on, my packing became more thorough as I added items to the bag and finally considered it complete around week 34. Then, when my induction was finally scheduled I went and threw in a bunch more items! Of course, for my second pregnancy – after having one full-term twin pregnancy that was induced at 39 weeks – I don’t think I started packing anything until 34 weeks! Despite my own habits, I again urge you that sooner is better though!
That said, do what is best for your own sanity. I’m simply giving you food for thought.

Twins =Terms. Part I: Who's first?

As soon as you walk though the double doors of the twinning community (pun intended), you start hearing lots of befuddling words that describe the various possibilities of number, condition, and location of multiples in uetero. “Baby B, Baby 3,  dizygotic, monochorionic, transverse, Vertex, and even ‘mo/mo” what do they all mean? This is your all-expense paid trip to find out ‘what’ your babies are.



 Baby A, meet baby B, and perhaps Baby C and D too!
The first medical terminology you come across is likely to be during your first ultrasound. To differentiate your babies throughout pregnancy, they are labeled with the letters of the alphabet. Creative, eh? The baby who appears closest to your cervix is given the letter ‘A’ anticipating that he will be the first born. B is the second place winner and C the runner up.

Because the letters are used to distinguish one baby from the other, they will NOT rename them even if the babies (knowingly) switch places and one wrestles the other away from the cervix. However, if you have an early ultrasound, say 6 weeks and do not have another for a few months, it is very difficult to know that the baby that is A at the later ultrasound was actually the baby labeled A at your initial ultrasound. This is because the babies positions can change a lot and it is difficult to identify placenta location on early ultrasounds. Location of the placenta for each baby gives those ultrasound techs the best clue at who was A last time and who was B, because even though the babies can move, the placentas can not! Thank goodness that unless there is a medical concern, it is also irrelevant who was labeled who. (Except for us sentimental types who are wondering which book to scrapbook the ultrasound photo in!)

This can also make the end of pregnancy interesting as if they DO switch spots, your doctors and nurses start to get very confused at who is A and who is B – especially at the hospital. It also causes very interesting conversation with coordinating physicians who are appalled that you are going to attempt vaginal deliver when 'baby A' is not vertex.



 So this brings up an important point in medicine that applies to everyone who ever seeks medical care or treatment: Always know everything about your condition and pay attention to what is happening to you during your care. If you are supposed to have your left kidney removed, take a permanent marker and write on your back “Keep in” on the good side and “Take this one” on the other side. Folks, it happens too often. I am not joking about this – use the markers on your body. Ok, enough of a side rant.

After the babies are born, they receive new names. No, I’m not referring to the ones YOU will give them. Rather, they are warmly welcomed into the tradition of our modern society with the caring designation of (you guessed it!) a number. The first born is called ‘Baby  1’, the second, ‘Baby 2’ and you can guess from there. This is regardless of what their letter designations were. The baby who was born second will always be ‘Baby 2’ even if she was ‘baby A’ in utero. [Can’t help but bring images of Star Trek Voyageur to my mind ‘My designation is 7 of 9’. That’s what happens when you’re married to Mr. Geek.]

Surviving Pregnancy: Body Image, Hormones and Wildlife in the Bedroom

In the previous post about what to wear, I touched on pregnancy body image. Some people feel, ugly, fat, clumsy, or otherwise totally unattractive in their mom-bods. Others feel ultra-feminine, uninhibited, cute, voluptuous, totally proud of their natural beauty found in the amazing miracle their body is actively yet subconsciously nurturing.
Before pregnancy, my belly had been the part of my body I was most self-conscious about. One might expect that to be exacerbated by a growing pregnant belly…but actually the opposite is true. You see, for the first time in my life, I felt I could let it ‘hang out’ without shame. My growing belly was not just cute, it was a shining example of completely beautiful and exciting blessing.
For the first time, I felt completely at peace with my body. (Obvious note that this is in reference to body image and not the physical aches and pains of pregnancy!)  This gave me a feeling of freedom, and sexiness that I had not had before. Granted, my dear husband tells me that he thought I looked cute, but that my un-pregnant body was more attractive. But this wasn’t about his perception, it was about my own, and through my own skin, I felt like a goddess. And a woman who feels like a goddess wants to revel in it with her husband. And let’s face it ladies, the lucky guy married to a woman who is constantly pursuing her husband like a lioness seeks it’s prey is going to think she is super sexy – belly or not. Which of course gave our intimate life a touch of enthusiasm that it hadn’t had since early in our marriage.
It is interesting to note that it wasn’t just the improved body-image creating the spark. Pregnancy hormones are in fact KNOWN to fan the flames of libido for some expectant mothers. Increased sensation in some key nerve endings and increased natural lubrication are contributing factors. I found that arousal came much more easily and intensely and from things that wouldn’t even interest me previously. And the intensity and ease of climaxing was, ahem, very notable. There were even a few times that my entire pregnant belly contracted during climax, which was startling at first, but completely normal, and according to my doctor, nothing to be concerned about.
And yes, some women will feel just the opposite because of exhaustion, nausea, and the other physical discomforts and because generally having a four foot girth does not fit our cultural norms of sexy. No two people or pregnancies are alike. Guys (if Heaven forbid you are still reading this!) you should know that your wife might not appreciate the appearance of her mom-bod as much as I did. Know that your constant verbal and physical approval is necessary to help her feel good about herself. Be sure to point out whatever positive qualities you can see in her changing body - even if they are different than the things you appreciated before you installed that watermelon in her midsection. If you change the frequency or freeness with which you give her loving, touching and sexual affection, she will likely notice. Be sensitive and share any struggles you are having in a gentle way.

Ladies, on the days and weeks that you feel well, take advantage of them and give your body a chance to speak to you and tell you what it needs and wants. And maybe consider thanking your hubby in an intimate way for all the help he’s going to be giving you with these babies in a few months. After all – there won’t be as much time and energy to 'thank' him then! Just enjoy your free time while it lasts!

Surviving Pregnancy: Stretch Marks - not just for your belly anymore!

So, having twins, I pretty much KNEW I would be getting stretch marks. I just never realized WHERE I would be getting them!  In my 7th week, we spent a weekend away from home. I generally felt pretty good, the cramping was finally going away, and morning sickness hadn’t totally kicked in yet. When I woke up on lazy morning, I felt good. The day was beautiful and the air fresh and crisp...and my husband and I didn't want to get out of bed just yet [insert winking smiley here]. Suddenly, a huge grin came across his face. (Yes, even more than otherwise expected.) Ahem - let's say he simply observed an amazing over- night growth spurt of my breast tissue. It was a serious growth spurt. Overnight, I grew at least a cup size. I voluptuously (and only somewhat uncomfortably) overflowed my bra for the remainder of the weekend.
And while the size may have been thoroughly a benefit, the quick growth brought with it stretch marks. That really didn’t bother me much though, as there is really only one adult that will regularly see them, and he’s too distracted with their other attributes to care. pregnancy thing could be fun after-all. Which leads me to my next post…

Surviving Pregnancy: Choosing a care provider

18 Weeks of Pregnancy - 164 Pounds
Measuring 23 Weeks

This is the one task that brought more stress to me during my pregnancy than any other single topic. At one point, the birth educator in a hospital class questioned the fact that I had a family practitioner for a high risk pregnancy and urged me to transfer care immediately. After calling around and learning I was too far in my pregnancy for any of them to willingly take my case, I consulted with one of specialists my doctor was working who completely laughed off the concern and said my doctor was certainly more than capable!

Choosing a Clinic
Early on, I chose a clinic and doctor because they had family practice physicians that would attend your birth and deliver your child. This was at Allina Clinics. I simply went to the Allina clinic website and read doctor profiles and philosophy and picked the one I liked.
The advantage of this was that unlike a standard OB/GYN practice, you could be assured that you would see the same individual for your prenatal visits as you would in the delivery room, ensuring as few surprises as possible. In other words, if you know your physician only performs episiotomy in urgent situations where the only other choice is C-section, then you won’t have to wonder about that when you are dilated to 10 and someone you’ve never seen before walks into your room covered in light green sterile clothes and only her eyeglasses peaking out as she says ‘hi, I’m doctor Smith and I’ll be delivering your baby today!”

Choosing a hospital

Another consideration is which hospitals your physician works with. In this respect, you might start your physician hunt by hospital shopping. You can start by going online and looking up the birthing centers or maternity wards of hospitals in your area. Often, their websites include basic information on rooms and policies. Most often however, if you want any specific information you will have to call. When you call, ask if they have a free tour or information session that you can attend. This is often the best way to lean more, and will give you an idea of how hospitals are different.
The hardest part is deciding what is important to you. Any good literature on multiples will recommend that you choose a hospital with a level II Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, as many multiples end up spending some time in a NICU. One consideration, especially for those who have high risk pregnancies (besides the fact you are having multiples) or are having  triplets or more is how easily accessible the hospital is from your home in case there is an extended stay there. The choices in this respect may be limited. Also, consider that if you are leaning toward a hospital without a level II NICU, that if your babies must be transferred there, you will still be recovering at the hospital you birthed at – making visiting your new babies complicated.
Aside from those factors, other items may be important to you, such as
*What are is the practice regarding fetal monitoring during labor? (see my birth stories to understand why this may be significant)
*In what situations are IVs are mandatory for laboring moms?
*Do I labor, deliver and recover in the same room?
*Where will you be delivering? (it is common for mothers of multiples to deliver on the operating table in an Operating room.)
*Is there a bathroom with a bathtub in the labor room?
*During recovery, may the baby(ies) remain with me, or are they required to be monitored in the nursery for certain periods of time?
*In what circumstances will the babies need to stay in the NICU? (based  on birthweight? Feeding needs? *Body temperature maintenance? Breathing assistance? etc.)
*Are laboring mothers able to eat, drink and eliminate on their own? (You may need to ask your physician this question also)
Be sure to preface these questions with the fact you are expecting multiples as the answer is often different.

Multiples: an automatic 'high risk pregnancy'
Most hospital and physician protocols go into ‘hyper-over-protective’ mode because you are having twins. And yes, they have some good reason to, as multiples are often born earlier, or smaller, and have complications such as Twin to Twin transfusion that singletons are not at risk for. However, there is a tendancy for protocol to be over-restrictive or overly-intervening even when there is no true benefit to the action in YOUR particular case.
I personally believe this is due both to lack of adequate research regarding risk in multiple pregnancy as well as a subconscious tendency to practice ‘defensive’ medicine. There is often not enough research to know for sure what things really are more risky for expectant M.O.M.s because there are just not enough multiple moms out there and not enough studies being done on them to provide reliable risk information. The tendency to practice medicine defensively stems from an emotional reaction (rather than a logical one) which inappropriately favors a known risk over an uncertain risk. This happens because we all have an innate desire to avoid liability and potentially poor outcomes, but as a result we may minimize or ignore the known and unknown side effects and risks of the intervention or restriction being proposed. (More on this in a future post).
This means it is critical for you to know and understand what conditions and risks are pertinent to YOUR pregnancy, and not just multiple pregnancy in statistics. Statistics often don't account for factors like previous poor pregnancy outcomes, socioeconomic status, access to health care and education. All of these are factors in general in pregnancy outcomes, and all should be considered when making decisions about YOUR pregnancy - not JUST a raw statistic. It is also very important to understand every procedure, test and intervention your provider recommends, why it is being done, what it's risks and side effects are, whether you and your physician has reason to think those same statistics would apply to you, and what the risks are of NOT doing it.

 So for instance, a doctor may recommend that you do not do any regular exercise because it is a risk that in their mind is not worth taking, but there is not data to show how risky it is - or even that it is correlated with complications at all. My question would be, what is at risk? They probably think the extra stress on your body could cause early labor. But are the chances of that really significant? Especially if you have had previous non-complicated pregnancies in which you DID exercize? Are there studies that show complications arising due to M.O.M.s exercising? Or is it just an 'extra' precaution? Is there is an intuitive reason that exercise will cause complications? If not, what are the potential side effects and risks of just remaining sedentary during multiple pregnancy?  You can see there is nothing clear cut, it all requires reliance on your doctor's knowledge and communicating your own risk tolerance and preference to her, and finally, using your intuition when logic is not available.

Natural Birth hopefuls: Critical Question for your physicians!
In the end, I worked with the same doctor both times – but the important part, which is critical here, is that she worked in coordination with a group of perinatologists who were on call during my birth, and actually attended them. In fact, because of a slight complication with thrombocytopenia, I was transferred totally into the care of the perinatology clinic for my second birth. Because of my experience, I highly recommend that all M.O.M.s (mothers of multiples) seek a highly trained perinatologist either for primary care, or that will coordinate with  your physician to attend the birth. The reason for this is that many physicians (even OB/GYNs) and midwives are not trained or experienced in breech birthing, especially the younger ones who were not practicing decades ago when it was more common.

Most OBs and physicians will advise you that as long as baby A (the first baby to be born) is head-down, you will be able to attempt vaginal birth. If vaginal birth is important to you to avoid C-section, you should pay careful attention to this subject. Some physicians will have a low personal risk tolerance, and may advise you that unless both babies are both vertex (head down) you should really consider having C-section. This is code speak for “I certainly wouldn’t try vaginal birth, but I guess I would put up with it if you did”. Do you really want to work with a doctor with that attitude? If you are like me, this won’t be the only issue you struggle about with him or her. And in reality, the advice is extremely short-sighted, as even if baby B is in a vertex  position, she is likely to present differently after baby A is born and will either need to be turned or birthed breech. (in both my pregnancies, after A was birthed, B had changed positions from where she was even during pushing of A) It is important to know if your doctor (and the other doctors in the practice) are able and willing to do a breech extraction on Baby B if the conditions are right (they may not do it if baby B is significantly larger) or to do an internal inversion of baby B after the birth of A. If they are not able or willing to perform either of those procedures, you will very likely be one of those mothers who had the ill fortune of delivering one child vaginally and the other via C-section.
In my personal experience, and from listening and knowing the experiences of those in the mothers-of-multiples group I am in, it seems that perinatologists are much more well-trained and experienced in these procedures than your average OB or midwife. Not to say that an OB practice would not be appropriate for you, but be sure to ask the important questions, and that you are comfortable with the answers.

Questions to ask when choosing your physician:

*Are you (and those in your practice) able and willing to do a breech extraction on Baby B if the conditions are right (they may not do it if baby B is significantly larger) or to do an internal inversion of baby B after the birth of A?
*In what situations would I be required to have a C section?
*For what reasons do you recommend bed rest?
*If all is healthy, is there a reason I would need to be induced?
*Can I have a doula present at my birth?

These are not all-inclusive by any means, but they are the most likely to bring up topics that can vary widely between providers and their experiences.
In reality, and in today’s medical care economy, it is extremely rare that you would actually be able to meet with doctors from various clinics, though sometimes they will make such appointments or have office hours. More often than not, they expect you to just schedule a regular exam or checkup and become a patient first, and ask questions later. For that reason, I would choose to start by taking hospital tours very early in pregnancy to choose a hospital first. Then I would find clinics and physicians that can practice at that hospital and call their offices to find out what resources are available to answer your questions. Don’t rule out a doctor or clinic because they are too busy to take your questions – it is probably a good sign. Join a local Mothers of Twins club or Mothers club and ask what hospitals/clinics/physicians other M.O.M.s had for their pregnancies. Pick a clinic or physician and ask lots of questions your first few visits. If you are not happy with the answers, make your next appointment with someone else. Choosing the right care provider is definitely an art and not a science!

Surviving Pregnancy: Staying Active

16 Weeks Pregnant - 159 Pounds
Measuring 21 Weeks

Pregnancy may be littered with ailments. Fatigue, nausea, aches and pains, bed rest. Try not to let these ailments wear on your general mood. Take advantage of the days and weeks when you feel good and do something good for yourself and your baby, or babies!
I began doing Yoga in my first trimester. I didn’t do it every week, but I did go to a class with a friend, which helped motivate me and keep me honest about showing up! I highly recommend finding a workout buddy. We both traveled over 20 minutes to meet to work out, but since we didn’t have kids, it worked out.  In fact, it was a nice way to spend time together even though we were at different stages in our lives. I was pregnant; she was unexpectedly single only a few years ago.
After the yoga series was over, we continued to meet up and do elliptical machine and stretching together. I really treasured the connection that working out gave us, and blessing of all blessings, she found her future husband during that time! But if you don’t have a workout buddy, or can’t get out of the house, you can surely at least find a prenatal workout video and even prenatal yoga on DVD.
Note though, that I did NOT overdo it. While I didn’t check my heart rate, I was easily able to keep conversation with my friend the entire time, which is an important indication that I was not over-exerting myself. Note that I did this with the blessing of my doctor who advised me only to take pre-natal yoga, and do non-jarring machines like bikes or ellipticals. I will admit however, that I never asked when I should stop though! And I kept it up well into my 7th month!
Finally my belly was too big to be comfortable lugging it around a gym and I had such a blood volume within me that I was too easily fatigued. When this happened, I’ll admit I spent a lot of time lounging on my couch like a beached whale, or soaking in the tub. But rather than become completely sedentary, I began swimming.  This really was beneficial not only for the exercise and circulation, but it was a heavenly way to get the weight of my babies off of my belly! I remember swimming in the water just dreaming that I could take a nap there!  I actually went swimming every few days, and even the day before I delivered at 39 weeks!

Of course, you should check with your care provider about exercising during a multiple pregnancy, but if he or she completely discourages you from any activity ‘just to be cautious’, I would question that recommendation or seek a second opinion. I don't believe a healthy mom should not be discouraged from physical activity simply because she is pregnant with more than one baby. There it no research to show it is detrimental, and unless you have other risks, and especially if you were active before pregnancy, there is nothing to be cautious about until much later in pregnancy.

Surviving Pregnancy: The Ever-Shrinking Wardrobe

14 Weeks of Pregnancy - 157 Pounds
Measuring 18 weeks

As I have already alluded to, there is this terrible in-between time for all pregnancies when regular clothing becomes too small, and maternity clothing is still fits too much like a tent. This mis-fit period is shorter for M.O.M.’s thank goodness, but it also hits sooner for them, before most people know you are expecting, which presents it’s own challenge: What on earth do I wear? My jeans were already getting noticeably snugger before I was 5 weeks along! By the time I was 7 weeks jeans were out of the question and I was in elastic waistbands only. I literally wore through the seat of the 2 pairs of ‘normal’ pants that I could still fit into. I didn’t feel confident going to buy lots of maternity clothes yet because, well, nobody really knew I was pregnant, and most maternity clothes are pretty obvious, or at least have a big stretchy waistband that is a dead giveaway.

I did go shopping and found a few nifty new pairs of ‘regular’ pants with elastic waistlines that got me through, and actually they worked well for postpartum as well. Dresses would be a good option, except I didn’t have many. My favorite maternity clothing item was a pair of bib overalls. Buy large – you’ll need the room! They were the only item that actually covered my girth and stayed up in my final week!
Another great  item that I wish I would have discovered sooner was  belly bands. They are simply stretchy rings of fabric that go around your midsection. So as your cute ‘lil baby bump (or for us M.O.M.s perhaps ‘voluptuous belly bulge’ is more appropriate) starts to pop out under your regular shirt, you’re not baring your skin. The belly band shows beneath your shirt, which I think is so cute, and it saves you from having to buy a bunch of in-between-size maternity shirts…and save up for the tent-size ones you’ll need later on.
I recommend getting several belly bands that coordinate with your current (non-maternity) wardrobe because not only are they good during mid-pregnancy, but they are also EXCELLENT for nursing moms, because they allow you to nurse in public without baring your belly or buying expensive nursing shirts or futzing with a nursing cover or blanket. I used them under my clothing everyday after the babies arrived so I could nurse easily when needed. Also, be sure to buy the extra tall or wide belly bands, because some are rather ‘skimpy’ in that the fabric is only about 8” wide, and let’s face it twin mamas, 8 inches isn’t going to cover your ‘buns in the oven’ very far into this pregnancy!
It was such a relief when the cat was out of the bag, and I could proudly display my midsection because, let’s face it, at 10 weeks it was getting tuff to hide! At 15 weeks, there was not a single pair of pre-pregnancy pants I could squeeze into. I’ve always been so self conscience about my belly, and have always been very conscious of my posture, so being able to let it all ‘hang out’ was a very freeing experience. Never before did I have a reason to be proud of my figure, and now I did. Actually, it was during middle pregnancy that I felt more proud and confident in my body than I had since, well, ever in my life. And it was only about to get better…

Surviving Pregnancy: SLEEP PLEASE

12 Weeks of Pregnancy - 155 Pounds

Of course, another plague of early pregnancy is exhaustion. Your body is working hard, to build and nourish not one, but two (or more) other little bodies. You have nutrients to process, cells to divide, and blood volume to build. If you think you would be this tired if you ran a marathon, you are right. Your metabolic rate is increased. And to add to it, your body is producing more progesterone, which has a sedative effect.

I think for me, week 8 was the worst for feeling exhausted. I pretty much fell asleep right after dinner, if I made it that far! And I often wanted a nap in the afternoon when I could sneak one in. Any mom will tell you that the only thing worse than having a full time job and being that exhausted is having young kids and being that exhausted - even worse all of the above! Just do whatever you can to get some rest. Go to bed early, sneak a nap, make your hubby drive and catnap in the car, call a friend in for help. Don't feel bad about it, your body does need sleep for you to function well and give your best to your family and your job.

It was at this time during my second pregnancy that I started the habit of putting in a longer movie in the afternoon to let my older kids watch while I snoozed for 45 minutes. If your kids are younger and you can’t let them roam around the house while you snooze, try putting him/her/them in a crib with their favorite baby-safe toys. Or even buckling ‘em in a car seat in the living room in front of a Baby Einstein movie. Of course, I don’t condone this as a regular habit, but when your body id desperate for rest, it is important listen.

I still felt pretty fatigued at 10 weeks, but after that, the worst of it was over. In general I needed more sleep, but it wasn’t overwhelming. Also, remember to take your B vitamins! I was taking a B supplement of some sort but can’t recall which…so ask your doctor if it would benefit you. If your doctor gives you a blank stare in return, ask to see a nutritionist or dietitian.

Surviving Twin Pregnancy: Morning (and afternoon, and evening and nighttime) sickness

10 Weeks of Pregnancy - 153 Pounds

So one thing that *almost* every expectant mom gets to participate in is the dreaded morning sickness. I believe mine started around 8 weeks. It seemed worse if I got hungry, so the best thing I could do to help it, ironically, was eat. Mostly I craved comfort food: Macaroni and cheese, Ramen Noodles (beware the MSG in the seasoning!), soda, or anything with lots of carbs. When I felt sick, I ate anything of the above to keep myself sane. And when I felt well, I tried to eat extra healthily to make up for it. The worst time for me definitely was in the morning. I got into the habit of waking up and immediately boiling water to make ramen noodles. It was the only thing I could stomach, but after I ate them I felt much better. Most of the day I still felt slightly off. I think this is really the worst time of pregnancy because you are so miserable and just want to keel over on the couch and watch old episodes of Friends from the season Phoebe is pregnant with triplets while sucking on preggie pops, but you can’t because most people probably don’t even know you are pregnant yet! (Or maybe because you have several little ones running around already trying to play in the toilet water and your long-abandoned maxi pad drawer). But nevertheless, you are stuck trying to live your day to day life in an honorable fashion.
Usually, for me, it got better as the day went on, though there were a handful of days that I was quite miserable and just threw up the white flag claiming illness and sympathy from my hubby. I never actually ‘tossed my cookies’, because I HATE throwing up, and resist it with my whole being. But I probably would have felt better if I did! My heart goes out to those women who can’t quit the vomiting. But especially for you twin and multiple moms, it is VERY IMPORTANT to keep food down and get lots of nutrition and weight gain a little earlier in pregnancy because twin, triplet + buns generally don’t get as much time in the oven. Talk to your doctor if you have a hard time keeping food down on a regular basis because they can prescribe drugs to help.
Also, one thing I did find helpful was this device that I already owned because I frequently get motion sick. It’s called a ‘Reliefband’ and works on the principle of emitting a small electric pulse through a pressure point in your wrist. It worked miracles for my motion sickness when flying. Unfortunately, it was removed from over the counter sale around 2005 or so and was subject to FDA approval. There is now a new version on the market called 'ReliefBand Voyeger' that seems the same, except it is considered disposable because you cannot replace the batteries. I only once replaced the batteries in my original Reliefband in years of use, so if the new ReliefBand Voyager is as high quality, you should get many good months/years of use before it is kaput.
The Seaband works on the same premise, so you could try that too, but knowing how much pressure I had to apply to my wrist when I forgot my relief band, I’m guessing the Seaband isn’t as effective, but it's cheaper and may be worth a try for the desperate. As for my second pregnancy, I did have morning sickness, but not nearly as often, nor as intense. On the other hand, I just had a constant sense of being slightly ‘off’ that could usually be controlled with eating consistently. So I got in the habit of keeping a granola bar or healthy snack in my purse every day, which seemed to help.
Do take heart that nausea is a continued sign that you are still healthy and still pregnant! In fact, if you had a very sudden drop the severity or frequency of nausea, I would give the doc a call, just to make sure everything is ok. The dreaded morning sickness did finally dissipate and get milder for me around 15 weeks, and milder and less frequent yet around 16 and 17 weeks until it was a mere memory! Good luck getting there! Be sure to post a comment if you have any tips or tricks that worked for you!

Just an ultrasound...

Baby A 11 Weeks

Baby B 11 Weeks

We had out ultrasound on August 12 when I was 11 weeks along. I’m not a superstitious person. But 11 has been a lucky number for me. I was born in the 11th month. I wore 11 on my softball jersey. I met my future husband on the 11th. And of course, if you add 1 + 1, you get 2, which is also a pretty important number in my life! I remember being in the waiting room for the ultrasound. I had to pee to the point my bladder hurt, but that was not what was making me nervous. I was going to meet my baby. See her little heart fluttering, See her springing around in nice warm gooshy balloon of goo. At least I said a prayer that we would see those sorts of  pictures of a very healthy, normal baby. But there were a few surprises. The first surprise was the goo she squirted on my belly…it was warm! Then she put the sensor on my belly and started swooping all over, way up high, down low, side to side. She would pause for a moment with a puzzled look on her face, and then move to a different area. I couldn't make out anything on the screen except black splotches of static. After about 2-3 minutes of this, I was getting very nervous. The room was dark and she hadn't said one word, there was absolute silence. I swear I could hear the beating of my own heart. Visions of 2-headed babies danced in my head. Or perhaps no baby at all. I prayed and told myself that no matter what it was, God would not give me that which I could not bear. Just then, she took the sensor off my belly and said “Well, (note that the comma you just saw represents about a decade of purgatory in my memory) “how do you guys feel about twins?” WHEW! What a relief! I was totally flabbergasted! And thrilled! Now Mike: he looked a little stunned, but he assured me that he felt, happy, excited, and blessed, just not in the same flamboyant manner in which I was. What a realization that you need 2 cribs, 2 car seats, a double graduation party and two 529 college savings accounts. At least I already have 2 boobs, eh?

We couldn’t keep this a secret long. It was a morning appointment, and my mom knew by the time we were at lunch to look at ultrasound photos. I got out one photo and said “alright, well here’s one.” Then took out the picture of Baby B and said “And here’s the other”.  That is how we told pretty much everyone, and some of them it took a while to catch on and would accuse us of playing a prank. But we had ultrasound photos labeled “Baby A” and “Baby B” by the technician to prove it!

Spreading the news...

Eighth week of Pregnancy
152 pounds

One of the funnest parts of expecting a baby is telling everyone about it. We wanted to tell our family first of course, but we wanted to wait when they were all together. Of course, at this time we didn’t know we were having twins yet. But we did it at the dinner table when we were at the cabin. I gave each of my parents a small package that had a onsie inside.  The one I gave my mom had a yellow duck (yellow is her favorite color). The one I gave my dad said “Littlest Pilot” as his life revolves around flying. My mom jumped up and shouted ‘Hallelujah!’ (Pronouncing that ‘Hal’ as in ‘pal’). My dad looked up blankly and said “But I don’t look old enough to be a grandpa. Warren, do I look like a grandpa to you?”  We told my husband’s mom and brother a few days later when we went out to eat. The funny part is that even though I was only about 8 weeks pregnant, I had to stop at a department store on the way there and buy maternity pants! Although I managed sitting in my elastic-waistband pants at work that day, they were pretty tight, and by the time we were in the car on the way to the restaurant for dinner, they were unbearably tight!
We didn’t make a big deal about telling everyone ourselves…just whoever we happened to see before the new spread. But it wasn’t long until we had new news to tell them all over again…

Surviving Twin Pregnancy - I'm HUNGRY!

Sixth week of pregnancy
pre-prego weight: 148 pounds
Weight now: 149

 Hunger? Yes, hunger
At first I thought it was subconscious. That irresistible urge to give in to relentless eating. Binging on mac 'n cheese, ice cream, chips and salsa, cookies, Ramen noodles, Peanut Butter Captain Crunch, chewy tortillas and queso dip. Anything full of carbs and starch! I tried to balance it by eating a fruit or vegetable before I indulged, but try as I did to resist the urge,  my tummy was not lying. I was hungry. I was hungry before I even got morning sickness. In fact, when I thought back on it, I think I had a bigger appetite before I even knew I was pregnant! While that sounds unreasonable, I once heard a lady say that she figured out she was pregnant after her mom watched her eat 3 taco Bell chalupas and commented to her how unusual that was! So perhaps it is true. I ate, and ate, and ate. I tried to be healthful, but if only junk food was available, even better! I told myself that I shouldn’t be eating so much! That baby didn’t really need calories to speak of until the 3rd trimester! But it didn’t work. My belly told me otherwise, and I went with it. Finally when my pants began to get too tight at only about 8 weeks, I thought “oh no, I HAVE to quite eating so much! I’m getting fat!” I even consulted friends to find out how far along they were when their belly outgrew their clothes. 3 months at least was the earliest for any of them in their first pregnancy.
Of course I thought I was eating too much. The thought of having twins never even really crossed my mind. After all, some of my friends had already taken their turns playing the ‘I think I’m having twins’ card and then being disappointed. I even skipped the ‘multiples’ chapters in the pregnancy books I read. So I was NOT going to mention the ‘T’ word. Once we did find out though, I felt much better about my ever-expanding waistline. My doctor also verified what my stomach was telling me, and she said to listen to my body and eat whenever it said. She said that there is no reason to be concerned about weight gain, and that with multiples, more is better!
Be wary of any health care provider that instructs you to limit calories or limit weight gain with a multiple pregnancy. For many multiples, pregnancy doesn’t last as long and weight gain in the early weeks is more important than with a singleton. If you’re not sure how much to eat of the various food groups, ask to consult with a dietitian. Get pregnancy nutrition book from the library. If nothing else, focus on eating proteins which your growing babies will need the most of, and proteins are not efficiently stored in the body, so you need a constant supply of them. Eggs, deli meat (but nuke it first to avoid listeria), cheese, milk, peanut butter. Keep a protein bar in your purse so that whenever your belly starts growling for food, you don’t have to keep your little ones waiting!

Surviving Twin Pregnancy - Cramping? Yes, cramping.

Week 4. Too bad I will not likely see this belly again!

So, when you are pregnant, they tell you that you will experience some breast tenderness, some fatigue, nausea, and maybe even some spotting. But did they ever tell you to expect cramps? The first time I had cramps, it was the day I expected my period. I started feeling them driving home from work, and all the excitement of the positive pregnancy test from the day before just died inside me. I knew it could happen that early pregnancies could miscarry before most even knew they are pregnant. I also knew that mild spotting and cramping could occur around the time or your period, but you could stay pregnant. I prayed for the latter of course. When I got home, I was glad to see no spotting. The cramping went away that night and I thought I was off the hook! What I didn’t know, is that cramping is a normal part of pregnancy for some women. I got cramps many times over the first month. Once, I awoke in the middle of the night in such pain, that I didn’t know what to do. I got a hot pack for my midsection, and even took Tylenol. This was not mild cramping. This was as bad as my worst menstrual cramps that had me doubled over in pain in the shower, missing work. My second pregnancy, I also was pregnant with twins, yet had no cramping. So my guess is that those 2 little babies were growing so fast, and my little womb just was not used to being stretched so much!  But by the second time around, the balloon stretched a lot easier and I didn’t have the cramping (yay!)

Your questions-answered!

Ok, I know what you're thinking. If these don't cover the first few questions that come to mind, you aren't like the other 90% of inquisitive people who stop my (double) stroller.

Are they identical or fraternal?
Our first girls are identical, which we know because we had them DNA tested (which just involves running a cotton swab along their cheek). We assumed they were probably fraternal when they were born, because the vast majority of twins are fraternal (dizygotic). They looked a little different at birth, which quickly changed. By the time they were four months old, my mom and I were arguing over which was which in photographs! When they were a year, we did a DNA zygosity test to see for sure, and indeed they were identical. With our second set, we don’t really know.But judging by their appearance, teething patterns and personality, we would put our life savings on a bet that they are in fact identical. I'll let you know when we cough up the cash to do a DNA Zygosity test to verify, for now it just seems useless to throw $150 at something we already reasonably know.

Do Twins run in your family?
No. I didn’t know of any twins in my family until I got pregnant with twins. Then I found out that my Great-Grandmother, had a sister, who had a granddaughter, who had 2 sets of twins. I guess is the above theory is true, then it is not so far off that perhaps many women in my family produce eggs that have a tendency to divide easily. And that she fell in love with and married a man who had that special enzyme. Viola. And maybe the same thing happened to me. Or maybe, this very rare occurrence just so happened to happen to 2 people who are merely 2nd cousins once removed.

Did you just die when they told you? (a.k.a.-How did you find out?)
Well, the first time we couldn't believe it for about 5 seconds until she showed us the little beating hearts. The second time, actually, they didn’t have to tell me. Being that we had twins once, we were technically more likely to have twins again. (Though in a former life, I believed this only to be true of fraternal twin moms.) So our doctor sent us in for an ultrasound already at 6 weeks. It was the last thing I expected to see. But, as the ultrasound tech squirted the warm liquid on my belly and moved the monitor around, she settled on a spot and the screen came into focus. I immediately saw 2 big black jelly beans. For a moment, I thought, “No, she’s just looking around – that must be my gall bladder or something.” But she stayed focused there for a moment, in total silence.
It was then, that the potential realization hit me. I said to my husband, “Honey, does that look familiar to you?”. He lowered the issue of ‘US Weekly’ below his nose, wide-eyed. The ultrasound technician broke her silence, “Two sacs, two heartbeats.”
O.M.G. I wanted to say she was kidding but I knew she wasn’t. “And I promised you this wouldn’t happen!” I apologized to Mike. “ “That was a silly promise to make,” replied the technician. My reply “Well, realistically, what were my chances of being wrong?”. I guess that’s the Million dollar question.


What are the chances?
I still haven’t found reliable statistics on that. But according a website I once read, having two sets of fraternal twins is 1/10,000. Having 2 sets of identical twins is about 1/70,000, which is a lot better odds than I thought! Sorry, I can’t find the reference for those stats, but I’ll post if I find it!

Were you on fertility treatments?
No. Fertility treatments increase your chances of having identical twins as much as going outside barefoot increases your chances of getting a paper cut.

How did this happen?

Showing my hubby the faint pink line...trying to convince him that it really was positive! (He thought the line was TOO faint to really be a positive test. If you can see the second pink line at all, rest assured, bun in the oven!

I get asked this question alot..by acquaintances, friends, strangers at the store, and yes, doctors. Of course, when a mommy and a daddy REALLY love each other... ok, ok, truth be it - I only wish I knew! Though the best guess I have is related to a Chinese fertility blanket bestowed upon my husband and I as a wedding gift. Yes, I wish I could sell it to you for mucho bucks, but I've already returned it to the gracious friends that gave it to us in the first place. I don't think we need it anymore.

If that isn’t scientific enough for you, or if you are one of those who YEARNS to have twins and is looking for a ‘how to’ guide, here’s another potential explanation. Traditionally it is thought that identical twinning is random. However, some research is showing that there may be much more to it than that. And, that all of those who claim identical twins run in their families are not crazy after all. I am still researching the origins of this. Supposedly there was an article in ‘Twins Magazine’ about it, but I’m still waiting for my back-issues to arrive. The theory says that some men have an enzyme in there sperm that could encourage division of the zygote…and that some women lack some other property that helps prevent zygote division.
When I tell people that I have 2 sets of identical twins, let’s just say I have been greatly surprised at the frequency of responses from strangers who tell me that they know someone who also has 2, 3, (and yes once) even 4 sets of identical twins. It makes one start to think that perhaps not all monozygotic twinning is so random.

I also found this interesting post regarding some research being done on monozygotic twinning:


http://www.twinslist.org/idfaq.htm

<< Now, does the research seem to indicate that this enzyme plays a role frequently in id twinning, far more frequently than geneticists have believed up until now, or is this still for only a small percentage of id twins? Also, you said the chance of repeat ids is as great as the chance of repeat fraternal, yet both you and I know women with 2 spontaneous sets of frats. (Of course, that's hardly a statistically sig sample) But, I've never met anyone with 2 sets of ids, nor have I heard of it. >>
Thus far, the research shows that the enzyme is directly responsible for causing the splitting of the chromosomes, which results in the division of the cytoplasm which results in two eggs! There are a few (about 1%) that have alluded us so far and have shows no sign of the enzyme despite the fact that twins resulted. Thus, we have concluded that identical twinning can also be a random event. But in about 99% of the people tested, the enzyme is apparently the culprit. So, 99% is a darm good yield! So, according to our research, it is not a small percentage but almost the entire percentage.
And yes, this study has been repeated already, but very, very little money is put into this research, so most of it is done on our own time. The reason for this is there is little to no medical advances that can come out of the research, just info and most of the money on medical and genetic research is for improving the outcome of diseases, etc. So, that is why it may be a while before this research is completed. We have to get about 5% of the public who have twins to complete our research (not all will go through tests, some will just answer questionnaires) before we can say that this represents the entire population, so you can see that this will take a while!
I have been working on this theory for some time. Ask people on this post nd I guarantee that you will meet peolpe who at least know of someone who as two sets of identicals. I know 2 people out of hundreds that have more han one set of fraternals and about that many in our research that have two ets of indenticals. There is a woman in Australia that has three sets of identicals (yes, with the same hubby!)! I think that hyperovulation is more frequent than identical twinning because it depends entirely on the woman and not on the husband, but identical twinning can sometimes be related to both, about 90-10 to 80-. It may also depend on many different things. The divorce rate for parents of multiples is very high. Identical twins tend to have more birth complications that fraternal twins, so that also can incease the divorce rate, as parents of sick children/babies seem to divorce more readily. If that being the case, the husband that caused the identical twinning is no longer in the picture and twins thus may not recur.
Also, many, many parents who have twins do not have more children, for obvious reasons. This also, that this enzyme may or may not manifest itself at every conception. There could be numerous reasons that the gene that turns the function or production of this enzyme on or off, as in diet, drugs, health, etc. There are so many factors and we have only scratched the surface.
It will be years before we can tell you what drugs, etc. influence the expression of the gene or the action of the enzyme.
Also, we see this enzyme in different races more frequently than in others.
We very, very seldom see this in the black race, but see it almost entirely in the oriental race. We see it about 50-50 in the caucasion race. It is almost non-exsistent in the Jewish race. So you see, many factors can increase or decrease the frequency of twinning for identicals, just as it can in fraternals. There is so much more research to be done, that we have only scratched the surface of this, as you can see. Our research is in the preliminary stages.
Hope this helps.
Jamie
JGorger@aol.com